The Magnificent Ferengi

DVD, DS9 S6 (The Magnificent Ferengi)

Actually it was The Magnificent Six, or even The Magnificent Seven if you count Vorta Keevan, and despite claims to the contrary by the makers of the episode, this is reminiscent, in small ways, of the famous Western, 'The Magnificent Seven': when they get their group together they count each new addition off on their fingers (sometimes it almost seems like they're breaking the fourth wall, like they're gesturing to the camera, the most obvious example being Cousin Gaila's recruitment, after which they walk out of 'Voyager's brig, sorry, the Starbase's brig, right past the camera!), and they even do the close-up of the eyes as Quark, Rom and Nog look at each other coolly before they make the walk, all in a line, towards their enemy. I haven't seen the film in years, so I can't remember if these things were exactly what occurred, but they seem like the honouring of a Western's style to me! After the legal troubles from using both Sherlock Holmes on 'TNG' and James Bond in 'Our Man Bashir,' I expect they wanted to distance themselves from any further IP haggling. Why use the title then? Well, apart from those small details I've already mentioned, and the idea of a small group of individuals banding together to help the little people against a vast and powerful bully, there aren't any similarities to the plot. That's it! Quark's gang are the village from that film - both the victims of the village and the cowboy heroes of their own story, blended into one.

I always loved the Ferengi episodes, one of the starkest decrier of the ridiculous criticism that 'DS9' wasn't funny. While some may have found their attempts, (successfully), to make the discarded 'TNG' race as essential as any of the other top-tier peoples of the Trek galaxy to be irritating and farcical, the point was to expand and portray a believable society, no matter how alien - these are aliens, don't forget, but even in a time and place in which alien contact is as normal as walking down to your local supermarket is today (I was about to say High Street, but the way things are going, that may not be possible for too much longer!), the Ferengi remain alien to all the other species we see, frankly because their customs and system are abhorrent in many ways. But while their culture is not something to be followed or held up as a wonderful example of a good lifestyle (as certain aspects of other major races might be, in moderation, such as the logic of the Vulcans, fearlessness of Klingons, or fascination with discussion that the Cardassians love), they're used more to satirise our own culture today, so it's no wonder that when they (who generally fail and show the worst sides of life), succeed, we root for them!

Quark has long been my favourite Trek character, an atypical choice, I know. He's not the hero, he's not the villain, he's just a man trying to make a living, struggling, railing against the realities of the world around him which is so different to what he believes and is fighting not to be conformed to, yet from another perspective gradually lessens in his extreme Ferenginess over the years to take on the positive values of the Federation, showing a streak of bravery when absolutely necessary. He's a character you can identify with - we might respect Worf and Sisko, but we could never emulate their ability; we don't have the diplomatic patience of Picard or the computational brain of Spock; the superhuman powers of Data or the wisdom of Dax' many lifetimes. But Quark, he we can understand, so when he breaks out of his selfish little world to do something for the greater good, or for unprofitable (materially), friendship, it makes us ever more fond of him. This episode may be his highest moment of sacrifice (regardless of the fifty bars of gold-pressed Latinum reward offered by the Nagus - you can't spend a reward if you're dead), because to rescue his Mother he has to go way out of his comfort zone and use all his guile, skill and people power to effect the rescue, turning into an exchange, of his Moogie, Ishka. Quark's always been rather resentful towards his Mum, because she doesn't conform to the expected standards of behaviour and do what all the other Mums do, forgetting that much of his own ability has been inherited from her, which is why he struggles with himself.

Not in this episode, but he's been shown to have problems, stretching back to his youth, something that had been explored in 'Family' where we first met Moogie, and again in 'Ferengi Love Songs' where both Quark's ideal in Grand Nagus Zek, and his shame, in the form of Moogie and her male-like tendencies to earn profit, wear clothes and do other such scandalous things are frustratingly merged for him. But he's also come to admire Moogie's ability, and while not accepting her wish to change things for her gender, she's his Moogie, and he's going to rescue her from the Dominion. It couldn't be a much more farfetched idea in principle: Moogie has been captured by the most dangerous enemy of the Federation and Quark has to go up against them. So it's an absolute tribute to the writing and acting (not to mention the fine direction), that can pull this off and make it, not only believable, but true to Ferengi nature and a pleasingly deep story that is as much about proving themselves to each other and others, as it is about pulling off a caper where hilarity abounds, yet is dramatic and you feel the personal stakes of those involved: their lives, and proving to other races that they can be as heroic in their own way as anyone else. And that they did achieve!

Of all the Ferengi soap episodes this is the most dramatic, has the highest personal stakes, and keeps the tone of a bunch of amateurs that, with the help of some Starfleet-directed resolve from Nog, the engineering expertise of Rom, and the backup of Gaila, Leck and Brunt, can win out against impossible odds, not only achieving what they set out to do, but doing even better - though I wouldn't set much store in the Ferengi's future trading or working with the Dominion after they double-cross Yelgrun, though that was itself a reaction to an unfortunate event precipitated by the hotheadedness of a Ferengi. Even when their worst attributes came through, Quark was somehow able to use it to their advantage. Quark is what everything rests on: he's the backbone that Brunt doesn't have; the control over his foggy-minded, but genius brother; the direction for Nog's strict discipline and Leck's murderous tendencies; and the pull of Gaila's backup - without him, none of them could have succeeded, he does the job a leader should, even when he really doesn't want to lead from the front. We've hardly ever seen him so driven and forceful as we do here, carefully playing on each of his comrades' desires to build his team, running at top speed through the abandoned station, Empok Nor, reacting to situations, coming up with a cunning and safe way to deal with the Dominion. His heroics may be driven by profit, but they're also driven by an inherent need to prove his people's prowess amid a community which stars Starfleet people to whom such challenges are common.

It's a shame that Zek and Mai'Hardu aren't part of the episode, not even appearing via viewscreen (Wallace Shawn was unavailable), as the Ferengi family is incomplete without them (even if Mai'Hardu is an Hupyrian, he's an honorary member of the Ferengi troupe), but we get a wonderful array of personalities that do show up. It couldn't have been much better unless all Quark's extended family were along for the ride, various members of which were mentioned over the seasons, though only Cousin Gaila was ever seen - Quark getting him out of prison for an important mission was so similar to Sisko doing the same for Eddington, it was uncanny! Gaila was Quark's ideal, the successful one: "The one with the moon." But hang on, that's no moon, it's a space station! Gaila's stock has fallen very low, arrested for vagrancy (though why he should be imprisoned in 'Voyager's brig, sorry, the Starbases' brig, I'm not sure!), he has nothing following his dealings with Quark last season in which he tested Quark's true and deep morals to the limits by getting him involved with Steven Berkoff's weapon's dealer, Hagath. It was another breakout moment for Quark as he realised profit wasn't the most important thing, and his creative solution to the moral quagmire he found himself in must have been a confidence booster, and one of the stepping stones to get to this episode, in which he willingly puts himself against the Dominion to save his Moogie.

Berkoff wasn't the only famous face to appear in 'DS9,' as evidenced by rock star Iggy Pop's role here, one of the best Vorta ever, Yelgrun. He's so different to the others of his kind, and for a cloned race, it's not surprising that many of them are difficult to distinguish unless you've seen the episodes a number of times. I don't mean you couldn't spot the difference between, say, Deyos and Borath, but they, and other Vorta blend into one in the memory - all share short black hair, blunt, evil personality and sliminess. It took Weyoun, and to a lesser extent, Kilana, to create really compelling characters for the race. This season we've been spoilt, since Keevan had already been a stronger Vorta role than most of the others (still not up to the great Jeffrey Combs' Weyoun), with his distinctive large eyes and strange voice. And we were getting a second fantastic Vorta in Yelgrun, with that bony facial structure and resonant voice, here was another Vorta that was incredibly memorable, and not because of the casting. I'd never heard of Iggy Pop before I first saw the episode, so that made no impact on me, but I was impressed by the character. Knowing now that he was well known for being an out of control personality, it gives me an understanding of why he worked so well as the character - there's an underlying dramatic tension in putting a loud, boisterous person under the constraints of a restrained race that nonetheless has the great well of power behind him that means he has no pressure points and is merely indulging these Ferengi in order to get Keevan as quickly as possible.

He says himself he could have his Jem'Hadar storm the Infirmary, and kill them all, but Quark knows better - if the Dominion was willing to set up a trade, it's because they want Keevan alive. Yelgrun has the hallmarks of his race, happy to use force whenever necessary, but fundamentally polite and diplomatic. His downfall comes of underestimating the Ferengi and their incredible tenacity and ability to adapt to situations (probably the reason the Ferengi Alliance exists), just as Keevan did, and ends up getting captured, just like Keevan. I'd never thought about it before, but there could be an issue of the Federation acting out of line with their moral outlook. Today, nations have to think long and hard about sending a prisoner or convict to another nation that practices torture or may even kill the subject. This was the case here, because Starfleet must have known Keevan was a marked man thanks to his treasonous plot to get himself out of the war by sacrificing his Jem'Hadar to Sisko in 'Rocks and Shoals,' allowing him a nice comfy life out of the fighting. In his own way he was as devious as a Ferengi, but I suppose he didn't reckon with Sisko's burning anger at the death of honourable men, the only way to resolve the situation on the planet. It took great self control to prevent himself from killing Keevan when he nonchalantly strolled over the remains of his men, and I get the feeling, just as Bashir and the savants in 'Statistical Probabilities' needed Sisko's voice to support their plan, Quark only got Keevan because Sisko recommended it. A fitting punishment for Keevan, though it does make Sisko indirectly responsible for his death.

Or it would have if Keevan had been tortured and killed by the Dominion. Instead he gets it in the chest from an angry Gaila, as bad a shot as he is stupid. Gaila by far exhibits the worst of his race's vices - before, he was willing to kill millions to make a profit, now we see him as lazy, foolish, hot-tempered, murderous, sulky and stupid. But what I like about him is that he is a distinct and different Ferengi. Just as the Vorta have had specific things to differentiate them, in some cases stronger than others, the Ferengi on 'DS9' were given real character. You think back to the days of the Ferengi on 'TNG' and you think of identikit, grey-clothed idiots, the only difference being Early Ferengi and Later Ferengi. The Early version was misguided and absolutely ridiculous, portrayed like monkeys, practically. The Later variety were no longer being made ridiculous by their physical actions, just their silly schemes, and you'd be hard-pressed to remember one from another. Obviously there were exceptions: Bok being a personal nemesis for Picard; Dr. Reyga who was actually intelligent, though he was created after 'DS9' had begun to change things for the better. But look at the six Ferengi in this episode and each is as distinct and interesting a character in his own right. Sorry, I should have said seven, since Moogie's just as memorable - I love the moment she batters Nog round the head for daring to slice her palm with a knife to check she's not a Changeling. It results in Rom saying that's no way to check when she says she's doing the same to Nog, which then turns into her demanding the knife, the observation that that's family by Quark, then Yelgrun admitting he doesn't understand as he was cloned!

It's that punchy dialogue, pinging back and forth that makes the episode even better, adding to so many moments of laughter and joy. Even things like revisiting Empok Nor, which Nog obviously has knowledge of, is an excellent choice. The fact that Nog is part of it is essential as he brings Starfleet training and discipline to what could have been a shoddy affair, though at first refuses because he can't run off on a personal mission - that didn't stop Dax in 'Blood Oath,' or Worf, or most of the other characters at one time or another! He also gets to play at Dr. Frankenstein, crying for more stimulators when rescuing Gaila's mistake by reanimating the dead Keevan - a shame his clone never came into the series, but the Dominion may have excised his series for treachery. Reusing Empok Nor may have been encouraged by the idea to save money, just as all the series' have used their ships as alternative locations at one time or another, but it works for me because 'Empok Nor' is one of my favourite episodes and any excuse to see the darker, creepier sister station of DS9, is fine by me (even though 'Covenant' wasn't great, I liked the return of Empok Nor). It's a reminder of what our station is really like - if you strip away the neon lights of the Promenade, remove the people and dim the lights, it becomes a terribly creepy place to walk through with its Gothic Cardassian architecture and dark corners, as seen on various occasions. It's no surprise to me that 'Distant Voices,' should have been my favourite episode when I was growing up, because it's another to bring out the fear embedded in the design of this alien monstrosity.

Like 'Resurrection' before it, this episode features reminders of the early seasons. For one, Odo baiting Quark, though not something he ever stopped doing, had lessened, as Odo had other fish to fry, with less scenes between the pair in later seasons, sadly. Also, Rom crawling through the station's underbelly (or should that be 'overbelly,' since he and Quark end up popping out unexpectedly in Sisko's office!), and the feeling of all the nooks and crannies of a vast and unexplored station come rushing back - something else that drew me to the series in the first place was the station's untapped potential in itself: that huge amount of space and its interconnectedness, the same reason people love old buildings with their dusty passages and forgotten spaces behind the walls - it all added mystery to the series, something that lost over the years because bigger, more essential events were occurring on a plane above the inner workings of the station. How could they explore the depths of DS9 when there was war on a huge scale? One place I'm not sure we ever actually saw (or if we did, it never made an impact), was Quark's store room, to which he directs his Syrup of Squill consignment. I couldn't help noting after his tale about blackmailing this Squill out of the producers that he got it on condition he didn't reveal their plan to raise prices, but he's just told everyone the story! That may not be as illogical as Moogie's trip to Vulcan to raise her ears - seems odd that Vulcans would perform such an unnecessary procedure of vanity, unless it was for a medical reason, though if anyone knows about ears, it's them!

Another way this episode feels like the film it was named after, is that no one is the main character, everyone's part of the story. I'm not talking about the usual main characters of the series, as they either don't appear (Worf and Jake), or do so fleetingly - Odo's observation about there being nothing heroic about earning profit is the icing on the cake, though I guess it must be an upside down cake, since it comes in at the beginning. But it's those very words that eat at Quark and, added to the fifty bars, inspire him to take on the deadly mission in the first place. We get to see a funny sequence of what would happen if the Ferengi did get into a fight with the Jem'Hadar, and it's not pretty: running into walls, shooting the person they're supposed to save, running away screaming… It's after this depressing demonstration that Quark, through Rom, realises that it's no good trying to behave in the same way as others do, but to find their own strengths and play to those. It's a rewarding episode for that very reason, because it gives the message that you can succeed without applying the same techniques or courses of action as others, but by being unique; yourself, and doing things the way that you do them best. If you know yourself you have an advantage.

It's a very positive episode, despite the dingy surroundings of Empok Nor, the profit-fuelled decision-making, and the worst characteristics of the most morally degenerate race on Trek (okay, there's an argument to be had there, but I'll leave that one for now), because it says 'you can.' It's a proving of Quark, as if we didn't already know that secretly he's a good man whose own race's tenets aren't really good enough for him - if they were he'd have his own moon by now! I think it's this feel-good factor, combined with my favourite character getting his dues that make this, believe it or not, my favourite 'DS9,' even my favourite Trek episode in total. What? A Ferengi episode? It must be a farce! But it's so enjoyable, impressive and well-constructed that I can't stop myself from awarding it this accolade. It may not have the same impact it had on the first few viewings, but that's always the way, and I've always found it so funny, fun and reassuring; success against impossible odds; the continuation of the development of the Ferengi; and specifically the getting together of a Ferengi Rat Pack.

I almost wish there could be more episodes of the gang getting together again, solving problems, or overcoming the odds, but that would be to lighten the pudding, taking away from the almost perfect mixture in this one: Nog, trying to be Worf; Rom supporting his brother; Gaila proving what a fool he is (when he shoots Keevan and Leck calls him an idiot, it was another 'Dad's Army' moment - I half expected him to say "You stupid boy!"); Brunt along for the ride, the most unlikely addition to Quark's club (once again I feel myself astonished that he's played by the same man who plays Weyoun!); and Leck, the most un-Ferengi Ferengi. The attention to detail is also impressive, bringing back these characters again, even Leck had had a tiny role in the last Ferengi soap instalment, 'Ferengi Love Songs.' Best of all, it ends with a flourish, the forgotten corpse of Keevan continuing to bump into the wall after they've gone. Poetic. You can even point to a little hint of the future with Yelgrun's exasperation: he announces he thought the Breen were annoying, after his patience is tested by Quark's stalling. Could this be the time when the Dominion were trying to recruit the Breen to their cause? Whatever, it's another mysterious mention of the mysterious race, and that, along with other little points, such as the Battle of Prexnak adds even the last little flavouring or spice that makes this dish the best, and one of those rare episodes that makes you laugh out loud.

*****