Lazarus

DVD, Smallville S10 (Lazarus)

It's good to be back, after taking an extended break before the final season, and it is the final one, as Tom Welling advises us in the teaser's narration. But how far back are we? With all the focus backwards on people, places and things, you could almost imagine we were back at the beginning of the series again, and that pleases me. It's something I'd heard about Season 10, that it would bring just about everyone important back in some capacity, and I've looked forward to that appreciation of the series' roots, since I never got out of the second season really, never fully embraced the directions the series went, and often felt like I was enduring it more than enjoying. I was surprised to see Allison Mack in the credits, returning as Chloe Sullivan, as something else I'd heard was that she wouldn't be in it. It's possible she'll only appear for a few episodes, and there was a hint of impending doom for her (more than a hint, since she's actually exchanged for the kidnapped Oliver, as if it were a prisoner exchange), but then why put her in the opening credits at all? Something notable by its absence is the lack of a new character joining the series - we always have one, usually a villain, but not always, and they usually last just the one season, like Callum Blue as Zod last time. Hopefully this means their budget was directed towards recurring familiar faces on a regular basis, as they did so effectively with Terrance Stamp as Jor-El and John Schneider as Jonathan Kent here.

If nothing else had exuded the early seasons, it was this, with old Pa Kent showing up from the dead to give Clark a pep talk as he mends a fence as if no time had passed. It was a beautiful scene, and it genuinely brought back one of the best dynamics from early episodes, where Clark is unsure about something and Jonathan puts him straight with simple, manly advice and good humour. There's even the old 'real Dad versus adopted Dad' tension of old, with Jor-El telling Clark he will be the greatest evil the world has ever known, rather than its greatest hero, thanks to his sin of pride, while Jonathan encourages him and reminds him that it's not wise to listen to Jor-El. We've had Mr. Kent back occasionally in previous seasons, but not quite as alive and normal as this, so it was a real delight, despite his ominous warning that Clark will be tested, and it will be the most difficult thing he's faced. We don't bother thinking through how he can be there when he's dead, it's too nice a moment to ruin with logic, and I just hope that they saw fit to include him in Clark's corner, back at the sun-drenched Kent Farm, on a regular basis. I got the impression it was somehow him that sent Clark back to life when he was in a strange purgatory after Zod's knife had stabbed him to death, back at the field from the pilot episode, with the scarecrow's wooden stand that they tied him to - I half expected Whitney and his mates to come barging in and tie him up there and then! Jor-El claims it wasn't he that sent Clark back to the land of the living, so…

I was surprised that there wasn't quite as much thrown at the audience as usual, but maybe I'm forgetting what the baseline is for the series. And we do get plenty to cogitate on, not least being Tess Mercer alive, well, and with a whole face (it would have been a more creative choice to turn her into a Two-Face type, but I suspect the network wanted her face whole again, instead of half burned up and hidden under dressing for a chunk of the season). Since she wakes up in Lex Luthor's old facility, Cadmus Labs, and discovers a selection of Lex clones in various states of age and decay, it's not too preposterous to guess that she also is a clone, since she did actually die in the season finale, and she couldn't have been healed that fast. Well, this is 'Smallville,' so she could have been healed, but it's just as likely for her to be cloned. Either way, it doesn't matter too much. What I was uncertain about was the Lex connection. For one thing, I wish they'd got Michael Rosenbaum back instead of any old actor to be a Lex clone who's aged twenty years, and dies after setting Clark a Joker-like conundrum to choose between saving one, or a group (no doubt 'The Dark Knight' had some influence on the series at the time, considering its huge success). And for another, it's left open as to how many clones there are, so they never need to bring Rosenbaum back at all. Was he even approached? Did he leave under a cloud? Was he just fed up with poor writing, and said so?

Tess has been set up to be some kind of guardian of the Lex clones, or the little guy she finds at the facility, though who knows how many more are hidden away? I was just glad the old Lex didn't hang around as he didn't have the nuance to make a good villain for a season. I don't believe Rosenbaum ever did come back, so we'll have to make do with inferior replicas to carry the story. Not that this looks to be the most immediate threat, as some hooded black smoke creature appears. If I knew Superman lore I'd probably recognise it, but I don't, so I'll have to wait for the series to spell it out in its own time. Each character gets something to do, though Oliver and Chloe get shortest shrift, with Oliver tortured for… information? It's a bit like Bond in 'Casino Royale,' and the series isn't shy about showing us it's not going to let up on the viciousness that has crept slowly up on the nasty scale. We never know who this mysterious group is that captured Queen, just that they plan to do what they're doing to him to all his gang, and now they have Chloe…

Lois' position as last to know the big Clark Kent secret dawns on her, and allows her to have a little fun with him, though she's so far not revealing she knows. They were scheduled to meet in the barn for the usual end of episode sunset chat of understanding, but alas, she gets knocked out by old Lex, saved by Clark when she's tied to the same old scarecrow stand, in that same old field, which he set fire to, and then decides it might be best to hop it to Africa with Perry White after all. I'm not sure why, whether it was a reaction to being captured, since she should be used to that happening by now, or more likely, so the baddies can't use her as a weapon against Clark. It was no sweat for him to save her and stop the Daily Planet's globe from crushing a load of people (and really, wouldn't a massive, shiny metal globe be so noticeable that people would have time to get out of the way?), although it does give him a jolt of pride that he was almost flying, after having pushed himself harder than ever before.

The series has definitely decided to fully embrace its history like never before (not that it was shy of doing so anyway), and with homely references to both continuity old (Clark saving Lex on the bridge; the scarecrow stand; Jonathan Kent; the Kent Farm), and new (Dr. Fate's helmet which enables Chloe to see what's going to happen; that superhero gang's special meeting place, even though I thought it was the Lex Mansion at first, because it's a set redress; Lex' various projects), it's nice to revisit the characters and settings again. The CG effects varied, with the birds in Clark's purgatory not the best, but then the fire he rushes through to save Lois looked realistic, so it wasn't bad on balance, and now we're coming to the end I'm just looking forward to getting back into the series one last time (until I review the first two, superior seasons!). With Tom Welling still Executive Producer it may well have been a case for him of making as much hay as he could while the sun shines, because he was already looking older and fuller of face than he used to, and he probably guessed this was his big gig, forever-after to be typecast in the role. The Fortress of Solitude is seen again, where Mrs. Kent's nicely designed Superman costume ends up residing in ice, ready for when Clark shall don it instead of the black garb he wears now as a kind of hero in waiting. Hopefully we'll have some good stories this season, and if we don't, at least let there be an influx of past characters as much as was crammed into this episode. Because nostalgia is something, even if quality of storytelling isn't quite up there.

**

The Groupie

DVD, Starsky & Hutch S4 (The Groupie) (2)

Probably the worst episode of the series, and if not the worst, definitely one of the worst, for its ridiculousness, low stakes and general boredom. There really is very little going on with this one, so little that it's hard to think of things to write about it! Coming so soon after the parody of 'Dandruff' might make it seem worse, but in truth, it doesn't matter where in the season they produced it, it has no redeeming features. Once again S&H are going undercover, but although they stay in character much of the time, it's not like 'Dandruff' where the zaniness goes from level to level, it just plateaus at extremely hammy, not enough to cause amusement, yet also so silly that you can't believe these guys are detectives on a case. Hutch resumes his nasally persona, this time as a fashion buyer, decked out in ugly outfit, thick glasses and swept hair, clumsy mannerisms, facial tics, the whole acting-class gig, with the alias Jack Ives and the motto 'money talks, or take a walk.' He somehow keeps up this persona around people that actually believe it, though the other characters are much more down-to-earth types compared with 'Dandruff.' Starsky is back to his florid, indeterminate European accent, an 'artist,' violently brandishing a camera, throwing himself about like some crazed Ferengi in the guise of 'Mr. Renaldo.' The balance is more weighted towards Hutch, Starsky's role more of an afterthought as they try to… I don't know, infiltrate Anne Lock Fashions, the company which is being particularly competitive?

I couldn't really follow the story, but I'm not sure if it was because it was being told incoherently or I was put off by alternating scenes of clownish behaviour and dry, expositive ones. The fact that it's expensive clothes that are on the line (sixty to seventy G's worth of Russian sable, for example, as the thief at the beginning explains to his lackey for our benefit), means it's hard to care, and although they attempt to up the stakes by having a representative of the manufacturers, Mr. Marks, explain to S&H with Dobey's backing how important this is to the industry and the country as a whole, it fails miserably - S&H aren't even taking the 'threat' seriously, so why should the viewer? Things improve slightly when Melinda Rogers, the groupie of the title, switches sides to S&H after Hutch has explained she'll be going down if she doesn't (and because he uses his 'charm' on her), after she'd previously aided and abetted her boss, Jack Parker by distracting a security guard. Parker's partner, Sears, overhears her reporting in and then S&H have to save her, but it's still pretty weak. The idea of this woman who's attracted to police was a poor one to base an episode around, and the feeble comedy doesn't raise a laugh - about the only amusing moment was Mr. Marks' coldest fish of a handshake to both S&H, after which they give each other a solid, manly one as if to see it done properly.

Even with both Dobey and Huggy sharing a few scenes with S&H through the episode, it doesn't improve, and remains obstinately bizarre: a man at The Pits recognises Hutch and blows his cover in front of Melinda so he shrugs it off by suggesting there's supposed to be a double of all of us somewhere. How weak an excuse can you get? Then (and this was actually quite funny for the extreme wackiness), Starsky, to gain entry into Melinda's cabin aboard the ship where the Anchors Aweigh party is taking place to show off the company's swimwear, gobbles like a turkey until Sears opens up to see what all the noise is! It's like they were trying to think of the most crazy things possible. Hutch even swings across the stage at the show like Tarzan, emitting a suitable wail as he does so!

There are familiar tropes to at least remind us that we're watching the right series, so we get Hutch knocking Parker into a pool and landing on top of him at the end, as you'd expect; there's the scene with their rivals, Federal agents they don't like where they have a sneer contest; and Starsky does his trick of popping up to draw the baddie's fire, his antics lasting until the gun's empty. In a strange reverse of the usual attempt S&H make in competition to get the girl, this time Hutch lets her down gently before realising she's going to dinner with Starsky in the final, odd scene of the episode. I could say that at least it has something to do with the episode, except for once it would have been better if it hadn't, considering the quality of the rest of it! The pop culture references stretch from Starsky mentioning he's shooting a cover for Vogue, Hutch doing a line from the musical when Anchors Aweigh is mentioned as the name of the fashion show party, and even Dobey getting in on the act, saying the strange phone call from Melinda sounded like she overdosed on some James Bond film. And Parker, in secret meeting with Sears in a concession, pretends to study a Charlie Brown card! The concession they meet in is advertising Halloween cards, and since it's a real shop, not a set, there's no doubt as to the period they were shooting, which is a small nugget of interesting detail.

If there is a saving grace to the episode it's the fun of spotting how many returning faces from the series show up, because there are a few here: the big one is obviously Robert Loggia as Jack Parker, who shares the accolade of being one of only two people to have more than one 'Special Guest Star' credit to his name (the other being Michele Carey) - there were other Special Guest Stars that appeared in more than one episode, but they only got the credit on one of their roles. Loggia had previously been in 'The Fix,' and brings a small amount of gravitas to the episode, despite the Seventies medallion, open shirt and massive collar, since, although he's the main villain, he isn't in it all that much, the groupie of the title taking the limelight. His partner in crime, Sears, was played by John Ashton, who'd been Willits in 'The Committee.' The other double-act, the Feds, consisting of Bill Walters (David Knapp), and Ed Ohlin (Arthur Roberts), both had previous: Knapp was Assistant District Attorney Sims in 'Nightmare,' and Roberts (under the name Arthur David Roberts - I'm assuming they were the same guy), was White in 'Losing Streak.' To round out the comebacks, Will Walker (the man at The Pits), had been in 'Deckwatch,' and Marianne Bunch (Barbara, a model and friend of Melinda's), was Tina in the 'Murder At Sea' two-parter. Ironic, considering they filmed on a ship again - I wonder if it was the same one, but then these cruise ships probably all look alike. Before I even twigged they were aboard a ship I was thinking the cabin looked oddly similar to one in 'Murder At Sea,' so it is possible.

Though I could suggest the whole episode was at fault, specifically I would call attention to the fact that the same swimming costumes parading in front of the goggling Hutch, keep repeating instead of being new ones. And I know Harold, from the Switzer Protection Agency, was a bit dim, but surely even he would notice the large glass jar full of bullets in Melinda's place, a warning repository of what she'd taken from previous conquests? Mind you, he was pretty dopey, and probably, discounting the extremely eccentric portrayal of the characters S&H were playing, counts as the only crazy character of the episode, which further isolates S&H's performances, instead of sticking them among a bunch of wackos as 'Dandruff' did. You could also count the girl Starsky photographs so floridly, but she barely had a role, and was rather a tool to show off Starsky's most gratuitously arty pastiche ever, whirling around on the floor, wielding his camera as if it were a sparkler while the model dances round him, dress flowing like some art installation. If it had gone on much longer I can imagine him slinging the camera around his head by the strap! Melinda was a bit wacky, what with her penchant for policemen, and her large dog called Fosdick, but she seemed relatively sane next to the burbling, squinting, floppy-haired Hutch.

The trouble is, the episode is nothing more than a chance to parade swimwear models around, while Hutch gawks. I'm sure David Soul enjoyed himself, but it doesn't make for anything like a worthwhile episode for the viewer - even Huggy points out that Hutch knows how to pick a corny cover. S&H's undercover roles had stepped too far over the line into utter parody, the series had lost control of its comedic desire, and when you consider that such a hard-hitting episode as 'Black and Blue' came between this and 'Dandruff' it's like they're two different TV shows! Ordinarily I like a bit of variety to show that a series can stretch itself into various genres (some of the 'Star Trek' series' were adept at this), and it's a hallmark of 'Starsky & Hutch,' always had been. But by any definition they had gone too far. 'Dandruff' tripped over the line and 'The Groupie,' unappealing in comparison, went sprawling face-first. About the only good thing to come out of it is when we hear Hutch admit to Mr. Marks how much he earns a year: $22,000. Facts like that are fun, this episode is not.

*

The Siege Part II

DVD, Stargate Atlantis S1 (The Siege Part II)

It had to end on a cliffhanger, it's the rules, and it worked pretty well in getting to a point of failure, where it appears that only sacrifice can be achieved, Major Sheppard bravely and selflessly flying a Jumper to take out one of the remaining Hive ships, even though there's still another after that to be dealt with. As a finale it's close to living up to the expectation the weight of a whole season has put on it - we knew early on that The Wraith were going to come at some point and they had to pay that off, so it's a suitably chaotic battle - though they obviously couldn't afford to go the full 'Star Wars,' they make a good stab at a convincing melee attack as dart ships speed down in to attack the city. What I didn't expect, or only in some form, but not directly, was a 'gate in from Stargate Command reinforcements, the ZPM found in the final episode of 'SG-1' tying neatly into the ability to open a wormhole between the galaxies and send a team, led by the brisk, but upbeat Colonel Everett, with a plan of defence. As any change in command striding in and upsetting the status quo would do, he shakes things up and doesn't initially blend with Sheppard (whom he has a slight grudge about since he shot his good friend, Colonel Sumner), and Weir, expecting military obedience, despite not being in full experience of the situation and city, as they are, but wisely they didn't dwell too much on the civilian versus military angle, just enough for a few people to be nibbled.

Things soon settle into a more cooperative atmosphere when Everett sees the kind of people who have been running the mission, Weir volunteering to go on a risky diplomatic attempt to the Genii to secure some of their experimental bombs in order to take out the Hive ships, and Sheppard and the others working together to secure the city after the first wave leaves Wraith infiltrators citywide. I had hoped and expected a cameo from at least O'Neill, but they couldn't have 'SG-1' characters coming in and saving the day, I suppose, that's not how these things work, and the 'SG-1' team did their bit with the ZPM, so there was some pleasant symmetry with the two series'. I was a little sceptical at first that this Everett and his men were genuine SGC personnel as I could imagine it being some kind of ruse, but that would have been too complicated, and it opens up the intriguing possibility of back and forth contact between home and Atlantis in Season 2 (assuming the city survives, ha, ha!), so I hope that is the case.

Once again I was sure Ford's time had come as he takes the gun emplacement, kamikaze darts all over the place - I don't know why, but I've felt since early on that his days were numbered, perhaps because he was a little bland as a character, but I found myself hoping that nobody would die as I've come to like this little group. Even McKay. Especially McKay, who has been the breakout role, and certainly the best character on the series, going from unlikeable, to gaining new facets to his personality as he becomes an almost weekly hero thanks to his scientific wizardry. Teyla, too, previously flagged as a potential threat, is soon allowed to show her mettle by she and some of her fellow Athosians volunteering to hunt Wraith in the city. The best visual effects come as the camera whirls round Atlantis, dropping in on various parties as they creep the darkened corridors searching for the enemy, while the Ancient chair gets used to activate defensive drones thanks to the uncertain cooperation of Dr. Beckett. Tactics are employed on both sides, The Wraith demonstrating intelligence by directing meteors into the path of Everett's naquadah bombs, and the Colonel forced to use every resource at his disposal, while developing a respect for the subordinates forced to work with him.

The enemy of their enemy isn't exactly a friend, but Weir's bold attempt to reason with the Genii works out. There's some new guy in charge, or one who deals with her, suggesting they couldn't get another Colm Meaney cameo, but we hear the Genii's age-old tactic of assuming an agrarian surface lifestyle as a ruse to put off The Wraith works again, sacrificing hundreds of their own people in order to keep their secret progress going below the surface. But even their pride can't shoot down the opportunity for a strike on a Hive ship at no loss to them, so a deal is struck. I thought it was a long shot, as the Genii are never to be trusted, but this could be the start of a grudging alliance, you never know. Okay, it's not going to happen, but it gives Atlantis at least a chance, until the plan to remote control the Jumper bomb-carriers from the chair fails with the generators, prompting Sheppard's suicidal resolution.

A lot is thrown into the mix to go out with a bang, and I think they largely succeeded, it kept me absorbed and wanting to see the conclusion (which I won't get to for another year at least, what with reviews of 'Smallville' and 'SG-1' necessary), but as with the season as a whole, I could only say it was partially successful, and almost never shows any greater depth than a surface sheen, aside from Sheppard and Weir's moment as he tells her what he has to do. The knowledge that Atlantis is no longer alone with contact from the SGC should be a greater release, but it comes at a time when things are too dire to appreciate it beyond the immediate help being sent. I hope the main team are afforded time to return to Earth when the attack is all over (assuming they survive, ha, ha!). I have to admit to not being entirely won over by the series, as I've written in previous reviews: the characters, while I've grown to like them, haven't become my friends as SG-1 did, but then they had a lot longer to grow their appeal. I expected the series to somehow be more gripping and dangerous, in the way that 'Universe' would be, but it's less of a halfway house between them and much closer in style, humour and tone to 'SG-1,' with not enough development. It's a tricky one to call, but I'd have to say it's not quite there yet, as with any first season you'd expect, and I don't look forward to it as much as I do the established 'SG-1,' and oddly, even Season 2 of 'Universe' despite that series' penchant for ugliness and negativity. But I do still look forward to it.

I don't know who Bob Scarabelli was, the season ending on a 'In Memory of' credit for him, so presumably he was part of the crew in some respect.

**

Pac-Man World 2

GameCube, Pac-Man World 2 (2002) game

The 'Cube wasn't well served with platform games, perhaps this was the beginning of the decline in interest in these free-roaming adventure collect-'em-ups as larger game worlds began to be used for other genres, platforming subsumed into them. Although the N64 wasn't exactly awash with them, the games it did have were fantastic and some of the best on the system ('Banjo-Kazooie,' 'DK64,' 'Super Mario 64,' 'Banjo-Tooie'), while the poor 'Cube had to make do with 'Super Mario Sunshine' and… that was about it for triple-A titles. I was missing the glory days, and having already replayed all the top N64 platformers in recent years I began to collect any I could for the 'Cube, and because NGC Magazine gave this particular game a decent score and described it as pilfering everything from Mario I felt there was a reasonable chance it would be worth playing.

First impressions were good, with a nice presentation, and the greenery of the first level in the Pac-Village bringing to mind opening levels from 'Banjo-Kazooie' or 'Space Station Silicon Valley' with plenty to collect, pleasing sounds, jaunty tunes and a few NPCs to talk to, not to mention a hut housing potentially unlockable goodies in the shape of classic Pac-Man games of yore. It was basic, simplistic, but boded well, as you'd expect a first level to be the most basic, and I still assumed it was going to follow more modern convention. Except once you get into the proper levels you realise that was just a kind of hub to introduce the concepts (if that were really necessary), and the other levels were pretty linear, didn't have mini-games (unless you count the Pac Maze hidden in most of them), or tasks to break up the old-fashioned pixel-perfectness of twitch skill that were the bane of 2D platformers, nor did it have any more characters to meet, aside from Boss Battles, quickly plunging the gamer a step backwards into a strictly 2D style of platforming, full of instant death (discouraging experimentation and exploration), through the generally straightforwardly navigable A-to-B environments, which were, unsurprisingly, but uninspiringly, of the same old 'forest,' 'ice,' 'lava,' 'ocean' cliche convention.

I wouldn't shaft a game like this for being unoriginal, if only it were more fun and the kind of experience I'd come to expect: free-roaming, varied locales, filled with things to see and do; tasks to accomplish, miniature stories to follow; new moves to learn… But while the environments were varied, they were fairly limited in exploration value, ignoring all the development that had come with 3D levels which were all about giving you a landscape to explore and the tools to unlock it, and the moves set you're given at the start is all you get. The reason to bring new moves into it is to give a sense of progression through learning, enabling backtracking to recover items previously inaccessible or areas previously not open, but in this case the only reason to return was to have another go at locating all the collectables you might have missed, or to take part in a Time Trial, neither of which gave me enough incentive to want to revisit these sometimes frustrating and occasionally unfair levels. Part of the frustration comes from death being so easy to come by, but also because you often don't feel it's your fault: the camera is an essential part of a 3D game, and this one was atrocious, many deaths resulting in its sticking on scenery or insistence on locking to one perspective so you had to adjust the control method in your brain and hands. Almost as bad was the lack of a first person option so when you wanted to scout a level it was annoying your only option was to move the camera around Pac-Man for a limited view.

The other issue is Pac-Man's traction, or lack - if you move onto a curved surface you generally start to slide and then roll off. Makes sense, Pac-Man's round, but you don't feel like you have the kind of control of your character to provide close identification, and things are too loose to give you the feeling of freedom. The moves you do have tended towards the slightly annoying: for example the stomp move where you bounce down after a jump also makes you bounce up again so you can continually bounce around, but otherwise have to stop before you can get back to moving normally again. The roll manoeuvre, perhaps the most enjoyable move in your repertoire, which also opens up the ability to reach further areas like a pinball, could also be imprecise to control, even with the option to make a dead stop in midair. The lack of a double-jump, the fact the camera was all over the place, combined with moving platforms and hard to judge distances, could make it a chore to complete when you were traversing levels with a lot of fall potential. Earlier levels, like Forest and Snow Mountain, were more enjoyable, but there always seems to be a tendency in games to increase difficulty as you progress by turning down the light levels and having instant death on every side, instead of intelligently stretching the concept of earlier levels. I don't think I've ever seen a final level that wasn't dark and physically tricky, and I wish more inventiveness could be applied sometimes, even as a project nears its end for weary developers.

Not that this was the game to make an original statement. It does do some things differently (apparently additions to the series after the non-GameCube original, 'Pac-Man World'), with underwater swimming sections, submarine battling, and skating, but these were the most frustrating of all and while in the early levels I at least made an effort to collect all the fruit, coins and Pac-Dots, with these levels I just wanted to get through them as quickly as possible. You do get the intense concentration and feeling of impending doom when trying to collect so much without dying, and there's a sense of relief when a checkpoint is reached, but it's all very much in the tradition of the 2D platformer, which I was far less enamoured with than 3D - the only saving grace is that, unlike such classics as 'Rainbow Islands' and 'RoboCod,' you don't have the requirement of completion in one sitting. On the other hand it makes it a fairly brief game, the longevity sparking from a desire to return to levels for a 100% rating, but, while at one time I would have made every effort to do that, I don't have the patience or inclination to put that kind of work in, especially on a game as simple and unremarkable as this, so I had played through all the levels and beaten Spooky in just over seven hours, with an 81% completion and a score of 373,490.

The incentives weren't bad in collecting the coin tokens, since you had the opportunity to play old Pac games, but although I unlocked all but 'Ms. Pac-Man,' only 'Pac-Attack' provided any worthwhile play time: a kind of 'Tetris' ripoff with Pac uniqueness of adding ghosts and Pac-Man himself into the mix. Even that wasn't a big enough draw to keep me entertained for long. I was disappointed that you couldn't choose what to release your tokens on, each game automatically unlocked as you hit a certain number collected, as it would give the player more freedom to decide which game they most wanted to play first, saving them up for a specific one. The other arcade games were merely variations on the 'Pac-Man' formula, and although I'd have loved to have opened the Museum or whatever it was that was under repair in the Village, I wasn't going to go back through and find more tokens. Even the simple satisfaction of picking up the Golden Fruit after beating each Boss, as you would a Jiggy in 'Banjo' or whatever's at the end of a dungeon in 'Zelda,' was denied you, with no tinkling encouragement for your efforts and the time to go over and claim the prize - it just ends, the fruit given to you unceremoniously.

Not to say the game wasn't challenging - barely seven hours play time doesn't sound like much, but it kept me stubbornly plugging away at the trial and error of getting to the end of each level, and the Bosses, while not too difficult, often took a few attempts to defeat (mainly because it was so easy to fall off the edge of a platform to your doom!). But it was more from rugged determination and through gritted teeth than for enjoyment's sake that I persevered to the end of the game. Repetitively frustrating, it was ironic that the points where you played old 'Pac-Man' dressed up in new graphics were the most enjoyable as there was no danger of falling to your doom, it was purely about avoiding ghosts. Like 2D 'Bomberman' maybe they should have stuck to the original formula rather than making it a halfway house between original concept and entering the 3D arena, not that there was much competition on 'Cube, which is why I was so eager to give it a go. Technically it was fine, not impressive as 'Banjo' is to me even now, full of cheery music, the graphical style simple, but well-defined (until the gloomy Ghost Island where I thought I'd entered 'MarioKart's Banshee Boardwalk!), and if the levels had been more like the Village I could imagine recommending it as a middling example of 3D platforming on the 'Cube, but instead it's one I can't see myself ever having the desire to revisit, except perhaps for a quick bash of 'Pac Attack.'

**

Black and Blue

DVD, Starsky & Hutch S4 (Black and Blue) (2)

Race relations, minority quotas in the police force, the future for ghetto children, and both sides of life: the hard-bitten and resentful, and the sensitive and caring, show how deep the series can be, especially when this is side by side with the fluff of 'Dandruff.' I prefer this much more realistic take on the series, as much as I enjoy the wackiness it sometimes explores. How different is Hutch's split second quandary when unexpectedly confronted by a girl aiming a gun at him? He can't bring himself to pull the trigger even for his own survival and shows more character than the whole of the previous episode and its silly accents could. In some ways it is the definitively negative view of the world, with the black Fagin, Train, and his gang of child criminals he's trained and sent out to line his pockets, and the sight of rundown neighbourhoods, and wasteland, but the difference is that it's not a hardened view, there's room for redemption, and there are consequences for what happens (Hutch spends most of the episode on his back, the cost of indecision), but they aren't the final word. The most touching and standout moments come from Starsky's encounters with the old lady in the hospital, Mrs. Greene. She takes the time to reassure the worried detective that his partner will be alright, makes caring gestures and shows that there are those in the world who make a difference in a positive way, despite their own problems. And she has problems: terminal cancer, as Starsky is shocked to find out. But it didn't stop her from seeing someone else's concern and stepping in.

The nurse is another example of that, in a more businesslike manner: she, rather condescendingly, tells Starsky to 'guard the hallway' when he wants to go in with his partner, saying he's a cop, but later she comes out and updates him on Hutch's condition, though she's 'not supposed to.' I don't know if that's for reasons of patient confidentiality, but if so, it's something good old Memorial Hospital has a sketchy understanding of since the Doctor (Dr. Holmby, according to the door he enters, though he could have been using someone else's office), tells Starsky about Mrs. Greene's cancer even though he was no relation, but claims to be a cop! In contrast you have wily Train, who cares for nothing more than his own self-interests, abandoning young Vivian when Bruce, one of the gang, informs on her to him that she's killed a cop. He casts her out, and at first she wants revenge, to 'rip off the rip-off merchant,' but is still conditioned enough to want to get back under Train's wing when she sees a chance to recover his good graces by revealing Starsky's partner to be a cop.

That's a different slant on the episode: usually when Starsky or Hutch are out of action, the other one works alone to get the bad guys that did this, but this time Starsky gets a new partner quick-smart. Despite the fact she's a woman, he's not quick to accept her, until she shows she can handle herself by getting the jump on him in combat, setting his mind at rest that she can indeed back him up. This time it was necessary for him to have help because he needed to get into the black community which these juveniles have come from, and as Inspector Joan Meredith is fond of reminding him, he's too pale to pass off in these neighbourhoods. Not that that usually stops him (we've seen both S&H go into other communities to both comedic and violent response in the past), but this was a more sensitive situation, dealing with the under-age, not grown men. I felt Meredith was quite defensive and tough, but I imagine it was a much different world in those days, she was probably distrusted and resented by some in the police force for being merely a quota filler for minority groups. I like that they touch on this, and it's not just a case of shoving Starsky in with a female partner (even though he is rather indiscreet and unprofessional in his personal dealings with her), and it shows her defensive side when she's the one to bring up the fact that she fulfils quotas, rather than pointing out her own skills and right to be in the job. If anything, it actually displays how confident in herself she is, that she'll bring out this fact, but also prove to Starsky she's not there as part of a numbers game, she's serious and has the training to prove it.

Disappointingly, we never see her again, despite Starsky claiming that next time his partner gets shot he'll request her personally, much to Hutch's chagrin! But Starsky needs to start doing some rescuing because his partner is winning this season, this being the second time Hutch has sat around piecing the evidence together in his mind until he slots it all together and realises what's going on, enabling him to arrive in the nick of time (as in 'The Avenger'), to save Starsky's life. But I liked that he wasn't written out of the episode, an excuse to show Starsky with a different partner. If it came to it, she could have been unnecessary if Huggy had been used more, though Captain Dobey wouldn't have had any faith in Starsky teaming up with him! There's some street ethics displayed by Hug when Starsky and Meredith visit The Pits for his help and (after coming on rather strong to her, saying something about his next wife - I didn't even know he was, or had been, married in the first place!), he makes it clear he's not going to help them bust every small-time fence out there, though he changes his tune when he hears Hutch is in hospital, and is ready to assist. He seems to come across a lot more suave and cool this season, where he would sometimes be a figure of fun in other seasons, or in over his head, so it's good to see him at his best. But the whole episode seems to be well directed and written, perhaps because these were done by the same guy, Rick Edelstein, who was also the Story Editor, so maybe he had a greater vested interest to make it a good one and got to plan it out as he wanted it to be?

It's ironic that race relations are an issue, when we find out that it's actually a white woman, Mary, who works for Allied Answering, and provides Train with his knowledge of when customers are going to be away from home and are open to burglary. It proves that race isn't anything to do with criminality (if the positions of Dobey and Meredith weren't already doing that), but also that it doesn't mean you don't stoop to crime if you live in a slightly more affluent area and have a reasonable job, as she did. The saddest part is when hard-faced, fierce young Vivian throws back the words Starsky and Meredith talk of: a chance, a future, because she clearly sees no future for herself beside being Train's trained Oliver Twist. There was some hope for her in the way she hesitated and stood up to her boss a little, saying it didn't seem fair to kill two cops. But he's angry at his whole tidy little operation being compromised and wants her under his control even more at a vulnerable age when she could still be turned away from him, so he doesn't give her a choice. Which is when Hutch bursts in to save the day. I wonder what happened to Vivian, as it could have been the best hope she had to be caught and rehabilitated, it just depends who influenced her after this point. Meredith could have been a role model, except that the police were seen as the enemy, even Huggy commenting on her poor choice of profession.

Starsky and Meredith made a good team, and she throws herself into the role in spite of his reservations. They do the good cop, bad cop routine on Bruce, but I'd have thought it would have worked better the other way round, Starsky as the angry short-fuse guy, especially as it was his partner that got shot, and she could have used all her charm. The chat they have in the car when they go to infiltrate Train's organisation by sending Meredith in as a teenager reminded me of 'Mission: Impossible II' where Starsky's saying how people that aren't scared make him scared and she basically tells him to feel better, then. When he mentioned that his partner was closer to him than his brother I wondered if that line was what inspired the episode to come when his brother actually shows up in a story. I don't know if we even knew he had one before this, and it could have been taken as not a literal brother, but it's good to have this little touch of continuity. The pair of them certainly made a good team, and you could almost imagine the series continuing quite well if David Soul had left, but Paul Michael Glaser had continued, though obviously not as good as S&H, of course. It had the potential to pluck at the race issues even more forensically. Meredith saying a red tomato driven by some white-faced dude would stick out in the ghetto made me think that it should actually stick out anywhere, but it's one of the conceits of the series that bad guys rarely recognise it!

Saying that, Huggy and Dobey both have good moments, and I was especially fond of seeing Dobey visit Hutch at the hospital for that game of putting pins into a wooden board (can't remember what it's called), while keeping him updated. But he's back to his cantankerous usual self later when he rings up Hutch to ask if Starsky's there because he and Meredith are missing, and ends up slamming the phone down saying it was a completely unnecessary call (since Hutch doesn't know anything), although in reality it was an essential call because the plot called for it - Hutch discharges himself and gets back on the case on the strength of it, putting the solution together lightning fast, he and his Captain heading off to Allied Answering for some answers. It's fun to see Hutch and Dobey driving around in his battered old Ford as we pretty much never see the Captain riding with one of the pair, on top of which it's always a pleasure to have Dobey out of the office. Hutch's poor old crock gets a battering at the back to match the front when Vivian drives out of the house she and Bruce are ripping off, but it still works throughout the episode. I had to wonder why Hutch was driving Starsky home at the opening of the episode, apart from the fact that it gave Starsky the opportunity to sound off about his latest weird interest, trying out an ESP quotient test on his uninterested partner, though it didn't become a running joke, except for the injured Hutch saying he just went along with it to make Starsky feel better.

Ordinarily I'd be pointing out all the wacky characters of this week's guest cast, but it's very much down-to-earth, real people this time, with no time for eccentrics. If the old lady had been played for laughs instead of poignancy, she might have fitted the category, and the only person I could think of that even came close was the nurse shaving Hutch (sadly, not his awful moustache!), and giving him more attention than was perhaps professionally required, or at least accepting his flirty attitude. But if there were none of that kind, there were a good few references: when asked Vivian's name, Bruce says she's Barbara Streisand (an actress very much of the Seventies); Meredith says there's no way to tell if Train's in his place unless you're Superman and have X-ray vision; when Starsky says he can't go in as his blue eyes would give him away she says 'him and Sinatra'; Vivian responds to the assertion that the cop she thought she killed isn't dead, saying her 'Mamma's Diana Ross'; and Huggy calls Starsky and his new partner, Beauty and The Beast. Stuntman Picerni is once again in evidence during the brutal fight between Starsky and Bruce in the house he's burgling, which was a good, walloping combat, even though the walls appeared to shake when they were thrown against them! And they obviously liked the horizontal lights above the hospital bed so much in 'Dandruff' that they had them back, and repeated Buddy's head-bumping manoeuvre with Hutch.

As well as both their cars, we see Starsky's apartment, only this time out the open door there's a tree quite close, or large plants, quite different to the end of 'Blindfold' when Hutch was tricked into walking out the front door - I don't think there was anything like that nearby. Also, like the secretary in 'Photo Finish,' Starsky has taken to calling at least one of his plants by name: Phillip! Wonder if he was influenced by that woman? There's a question of entrapment again, when Meredith goes undercover to fence a 'stolen' TV set acquired by Huggy, to catch Train, but he was such a despicable fellow that I didn't feel it was unwarranted, but again, it goes to show how different a time this was, much more cowboy justice than the extremely lawful manner of enforcement we have nowadays. When Starsky gets caught by Vivian while waiting for Meredith to carry out their plan, I noticed some children with, presumably, their Mother, in the background crossing the road, and they look over at what's going on. They were far enough away that I would suspect they aren't extras, but ordinary folk going about their business, and at first I wondered if they thought this holdup was real, until I realised they'd also be seeing a camera and crew, not just what we see! More guest actors were reused: Susan Kellerman as Mary, the dodgy Allied Answering operator, previously Monique in 'Quadromania'; Mary Mercier (Nurse #1 - I'd assume the one with more lines who talks to Starsky), had been a Secretary in 'I Love You, Rosey Malone'; and Maurice Sneed had learned his lesson as Maurice from 'Manchild On The Streets' and wasn't getting involved with guns this time, as Vivian's friend, James.

It was well acted, looked good, and had some well-written lines, and I found it to be a rounded watch, though I do sometimes enjoy episodes differently when I'm paying maximum attention in order to review them. I felt my last review, quite a few years ago, was a little harsh, and this does rank as one of the better episodes of this season. Starsky even manages to get one over on Huggy after he's insulted his looks, saying, "For a man that looks like an Egyptian horse, I'd say your house is made of glass." Though the best character and line goes to Mrs. Greene: "You should live a life as rich as God gave me," she warmly advises Starsky, and though we don't see her again at the end, her few moments make all the difference. Vivian's one about, "You may be black, lady, but your uniform's blue," also stands out, showing how the girl has failed to understand the intricacies of people and only sees a colour which instantly means she shuts down to the person, though it gives the episode its brilliant title. And once again we have a final scene that provides some conclusion to the specific story of the episode, when Starsky and Meredith say goodbye instead of her just disappearing and there being some joke. It's light, but it was a necessary parting to end the episode with, otherwise we'd be wondering where she was in the next one.

***

The Siege

DVD, Stargate Atlantis S1 (The Siege)

Plans are afoot for a last-ditch defence of the city of Atlantis by using the Ancient satellite as a weapon. Naturally, McKay is the one to lead the expedition and make the old thing work. And it was a nice set, too: cramped, vertical, but well designed, and I especially enjoyed the moments of weightlessness as McKay goes in when there's no gravity (and gets slammed to the floor when Grodin activates the artificial gravity before he's ready!). There weren't much group dynamics among the three on the mission - granted, McKay's never the easiest to get along with unless you're constantly noting his brilliance and not getting in the way, but I can't help the feeling camaraderie is something missing from this series, in spite of its main cast and multiple recurring characters. They could definitely improve on character, something that held 'SG-1' together like glue and made it much more of an enjoyable watch. But it's still early days, and they do at least allow a few sparks to fly this time when, in the secondary story (which is over pretty quickly), Bates, the guy in charge of base security, and Teyla, come to blows when he accuses her of being a potential risk through her connection to the Wraith. I'd have to agree with him, because no matter how much we like her, and how useful she's been, the gift she possesses calls into question her viability on sensitive missions.

The fact that they catch a Wraith in this very episode, and when she tries to get in his head to find out what he's been up to, he easily pushes her out, is another reminder of how little she knows about her ability and how effective she is in using it. I'm with Bates, she is a risk, though it turns out she wasn't the one that put him in a hospital bed: my suspicion was on Halling (only lightheartedly, and because he was the only other character not from the city), but it becomes clear a Wraith spy has been sneaking around ever since the dart had been reconnoitring the place and was destroyed. He beamed down, however, and it's only now that they realise? I wonder why he allowed himself to be caught out by Bates, and even more, why didn't he kill Bates outright, or feed on him? It wasn't a big shock that a Wraith was in the city (except for Sheppard and his team, who really sell the stun weapon they get blasted with), and neatly explains why Teyla's been having such nightmares and sensing their presence all of a sudden. But there wasn't anything that was a real shock or surprise in the episode, even counting the first death of a proper recurring character when Peter Grodin is forced to stay behind in the satellite, which is blown apart when the Hive ships arrive. At least he took out one of the three big'uns before he was fried. He was never much of a character, not like the more developed Zelenka and Bates, but I suppose you do feel some of the others' dismay at their colleague's death.

I doubt it will turn into scenes of carnage in the finale, with all the recurring bods dying, but it certainly throws a seed of uncertainty about them killing off characters. Ironically, Grodin was the one who always wore blue, while antithetically to Trek tradition, McKay and Miller were the redshirts, and they survive, but Grodin was in red this time, too! I did like the suits, the EVA, and the general design, like the Jumper slotting into the satellite, but I wish more had been made of the drama, such as Teyla under suspicion or Halling's request for sanity that they shouldn't destroy the last remaining structure of The Ancients (even though he was wrong, as we'd find out in 'Stargate Universe'). His hope and belief that The Ancients themselves wouldn't let their city be destroyed seems faint, since they tend not to have much interest in their previous stomping ground of corporeal reality, except for the occasional exception, like Oma, so it's unlikely they'll have help from that quarter in the way Sisko had it from The Prophets in 'DS9.' No, it looks like they're on their own, and Weir gives a speech as good as she can, not being the most eloquent leader, but I'm sure it set her people to greater resolve as they prepare to unleash a virus through the city to take out the irreplaceable knowledge of The Ancients' database. Will they lose everything? Will the city be destroyed? Will the rest of the series take place on some planet? I doubt it, it's a pretty 'safe' franchise (until they turned up the nastiness and down the comfort levels for 'SGU'), so things will probably work out okay after a big battle, I expect. Did Sheppard need to kill the captive Wraith in cold blood? Even Ford was asking if he was going too far, and then he plugs it to death!

**

Dandruff

DVD, Starsky & Hutch S4 (Dandruff) (2)

If last week's episode, 'The Avenger' was the quintessential horror of the series, then this must be the most notorious comedic entry, and certainly the one I cite regularly whenever the humour turns ridiculous. Because there really is very little serious police work, or work of any kind, the duo (reprising their pseudonyms Mr. Marlene (Hutch), and Mr. Tyrone (Starsky), from 'Huggy Bear and The Turkey'), spend most of the time rolling around on the floor/bed/behind the door with various women, ostensibly 'clients' they've met during their 'work' at Hilda Zuckerman's salon in a hotel where they're 'undercover' to thwart the plans of 'The Baron' to steal the Belvedere diamonds that are being brought by courier to the hotel for auction. That's the plot, as far as it goes, but it's just the bare bones in which S&H get to muck around with Zuckerman's customers, both in the salon and out of it, while prancing about in arty garb with silly accents - Hutch, sorry, Marlene, has a lispy, high-pitched voice and wears a ridiculous wig (which I suspect is the same one sometimes used by stuntmen to stand in for shaggy-haired characters, as we've seen a few times), while Starsky adopts ze bad French perzona 'e 'as done be-fore, as Tyrone, complete with Rambo-like tie round the head, while his hairdressing equipment of choice is… a stepladder. Yes. There are token moments of S&H doing the occasional bit of detective work, but they're few and far between.

If their aim was to create such a deep cover that they wouldn't be suspected by the mysterious Baron as being cops, then they succeeded, because even I was convinced their real objective was to have as much fun as they could. But The Baron doesn't uncover their cover because he's really not concerned about it - he has his own repertoire of disguises he uses to move about the hotel. The episode isn't actually a terrible one, its over the top antics are amusing in a way that it's amusing to see someone serious being a buffoon. It's not like S&H never muck about, they do, and they love to adopt personas, almost as if they're really actors, not real cops… But it is taken to the absolute extreme, beyond the bounds of believability for two paid up detectives to, one, take on a role which they have absolutely no aptitude or training for, and two, has very little connection with the areas of the hotel this Baron is likely to frequent. It's almost unfair for such an intriguing villain to be wasted on an episode that never once planned to take itself seriously, because it would have been a great one to see S&H having to deal with the disguises and clever plans of this master criminal (as we saw in 'Murder On Stage 17'), one that actually escapes justice and sends a note to say he's looking forward to the rematch (he may as well have added 'in Season 5' - if only we'd got that far).

Instead, The Baron is almost buried between female escapades or S&H dealing with the bozo-ish hotel security man who isn't in the loop - why would the police have such a high profile operation and not include the resident security in their plans? Why would Hutch force him to fire his rounds into the carpet, so close to his own foot - it wouldn't be good for carpet or foot! It would seem common courtesy to liaise. Not that Buddy Owens is up to the job, but S&H's silliness makes him look almost professional by comparison! And that's not saying much, because he is pretty stupid for a guy in charge of such a large, expensive hotel's security. The Baron could run rings round him, and did, and really it's only Huggy Bear that foils the plot, and he's playing 'Prince Nairobi,' which might be the first time he got to play an alter ego (aside from that magician, Huggerino The Supremo, perhaps). Rene Auberjonois (later to be famous for playing the changeling, Odo, on 'DS9'), makes good use of his facial and vocal skills, bringing out personas of a doctor having an illicit cigar (Superba Corona Superbus - as if to provide a clue as to his identity!), a bellboy in the lift, a barman and a police officer. I don't know what he said to the cop in the car, but it certainly made him jog away from it at top speed so he could sail off happily in the Panda!

Talking of jogging, it's like the comedy wasn't enough that they had to have potbellied Captain Dobey running. When do you ever see that? It wasn't the most dignified thing for him, but they got the Captain in on the slapstick, too: he leans on a bedside table next to the injured Buddy's bed which promptly collapses! If they were going out of their way to make the characters appear undignified they succeeded, whether it's Hutch with his wig half hanging off after 'dealing' with Vivacious Vivian and his head popping out from under a coffee table, to bandaged Buddy's position, the camera staring at him through his feet and up his nose, it was like they were trying to make The Baron seem even more suave compared to these buffoons he's crossing. And it works. I'm not sure why they showed The Baron arriving at the hotel when they could have had more mystery by making his first appearance be the shadowy figure his two hired goons visit in a darkened hotel room, only his eyes lit by the flicker of a lighter. It undermines the drama of that scene, but then drama is not at all what this episode is about, and The Baron was quirky enough that he fitted into the bigger picture. His goons were very much undermined by little screen time, something that could have been remedied by cutting back on the extraneous 'comedy' of S&H's female entanglements. It was in the same kind of spirit as 'Murder At Sea,' but in that case the stakes were higher and they did some action scenes, too. The goons were a double-act of their own, except more subtle in their mannerisms than S&H.

As if to ram home how 'funny' the episode is, it's crammed full of zany characters, perhaps more than any other episode, and with the few more ordinary folk, it has the potential to be one of the largest cast rosters. Mostly, the wackiness is at varying levels, so for instance, the henchmen, Ellis and Dinty (?), are slightly offbeat, but they're nothing compared with their employer's acted roles, most notably as the doctor. So the real list of crazies goes more like this: Hilda (whom I thought was the same actress we'd seen before in 'Tap Dancing Her Way Right Back Into Your Heart,' coincidentally a similar role in charge of S&H's extreme undercover personas, but it wasn't), who seems fairly normal until she start talking and keeps talking in unbroken jabber about how happy she is to do her civil (civic?), duty and suchlike. Then we get to the real wackies, such as the woman Starsky unties the shoe of - admittedly she's not that strange, except that she has an old guy in her bath who calls himself The Baron. Leo the tobacconist, the blind cigar seller who has a game he plays called the sniff and tell game, guessing people's professions from their smell, was certainly odd, flinging his head back and forth as if to make it very clear he couldn't see. Hilda's other customers are the most weird, though, with Vivian, who entraps Hutch while, presumably her husband, Harry, walks in completely unconcerned about her rolling around the room with a stranger; Bernice, the old woman Hutch is working on at the salon who appears to have drunk too much; and there's someone credited as Lorraine, which could be the ditziest person we've ever seen on the series, who's into numerology and is counting when Hutch plunges her head into a basin, and continues counting when he remembers to pull her up after chatting with Starsky!

There's a credit for 'Voluptuous Girl,' which could be the woman at the pool where we first meet Starsky, who is, unsurprisingly, rolling around on the floor with her. It's almost too many people to keep track of, and there are others with the angry woman whose hair is messed up by S&H and ends up looking like (and squawking like), a cockatoo, the parallel made very clear by there actually being a cage of cockatoos in the salon itself! She squeals like Miss Piggy at what S&H have done to her hair. And the angry woman who throws things at the door of her room when S&H enter on the hunt for the escaping Baron. It turns out they aren't very good at being hairdressers or pedicurists, and they've lost their detective ability through expending so much energy on their undercover roles, The Baron fooling them despite some hi-tech equipment being used: a bug. In fact The Baron uses a bug to eavesdrop on the plans for the auction, while Dobey and his team use it to track the pouch (or box, as Belvedere courier Davidowsky says they call it in the trade, after which S&H say they call it a bug in the trade and he says it looks like a listening device). So that was interesting. S&H do get an early action scene when they foil a robbery in the hotel - some shifty character makes off with a bag of money and they race him to the pool, in true tradition of the series, leaping into it, pulling the criminal down. It's what they always do: see a body of water and have to go in. You can just make out it's their stunt doubles doing the actual jump, with Picerni visible for about the only time this season so far.

There's a slight international flavour to the episode with Dobey talking about Scotland Yard, who provided them with the details on The Baron - we've had barons before in the series: Roger E. Mosley's 'The Baron' in 'The Set-Up Part Two,' another Baron, the villainous bodyguard in 'Murder On Voodoo Island,' and I always think English criminal Squire Fox of 'Bust Amboy' was a baron, but he wasn't. It would have been good if this Baron was a return of the Squire. There were some returning faces: both henchmen, Ellis (Blackie Dammett, his third role in three seasons), and Dinty (Madison Arnold, roles in Season 1 and 2), and that's it. There were even a few normal characters to round out the cast, with Mr. Adachi and Mr. Van Dam (winner of the auction), the other two bidders that, fortunately for Huggy, outbid his Prince Nairobi, and the nurse who's a completely ordinary dupe for The Baron's cunning. But it can't disguise the thin excuse for a pantomime to the extreme like never before. I think there was another similar episode this season, but nothing ever got quite as silly as this one. You could almost say it was gloriously silly, except it's more towards the rude end rather than a witty or slapstick comedy routine and doesn't put S&H in the best light. I like that it exists because you can put this side by side with something like the hard-hitting personal struggle of 'The Fix' and see the variety they were able to… I want to say 'get away with,' because that's what this episode comes across as: something they got away with doing, whether that was the writers, the actors, or the characters, the only person that didn't get away with anything was The Baron himself, so I suppose you could say there's a moral there, however small!

**

The Gift

DVD, Stargate Atlantis S1 (The Gift)

The gift in question is Teyla's ability to sense the approach of The Wraith. I didn't realise she had that ability, so either I'm very lax in keeping track of the details or they haven't played it up much. An episode that was a mixed bag: on the one hand there was potential in all the dreams within dreams of Teyla's night terrors, as well as the bringing in of a psychologist to help her process these fears and sleep loss. Dr. Heightmeyer (played by Claire Rankin who'd been Alice in the 'Voyager' episode of the same name), is sympathetic, but also a little superfluous as it turns out, because it's actually her connection to The Wraith that's causing her unsettled mind. The creepiness of the episode is never explored in a satisfying enough way, even when she connects to the coming Wraith, walking the corridors of Hive ships, seeing through their eyes and learning their plans, but also becoming possessed by a Wraith enough to cause some minor damage. The city is always so bright and cheerful, maybe even cheap and cheerful in some ways, that the visuals and the attempts by the actors to bring gravity and seriousness to proceedings don't work. It was nice, for example to see the Athosians camp, but all we get is a scene with old woman stereotype #1.

Instead you have to find solace in the revelations that are uncovered as the plot thickens: for one thing, The Ancients must have created The Wraith by accident, and Teyla was one of a few that were captured and experimented on by a somewhat rogue Wraith who was fiddling about with its human prey's DNA in order to make them more compatible… I think? It's a bit hokey, but it resulted in some that escaped having this ability to sense Wraith and even intercept their communications, getting in their heads. I'm surprised no one noted the liability Teyla could become by her connection, and even when they've had the unfortunate experience of dealing with her Wraith-controlled form, she thinks it can only happen when she's tried to contact them. 'She thinks.' That's not a very solid, grounded reassurance that it can't happen again if The Wraith choose to exploit her. And it's not much of an episode for her - instead of her usual calm, measured and sure persona, even amid advanced technology and boffins like McKay, Zelenka and Kavanagh (are we seeing all the recurring characters so much in recent episodes so that they have someone to kill off in the coming battle? Whom will it be: one of the docs or Sergeant Bates?), she's defensive and irritable, as you would expect from a person going without sleep for three days for the nightmares. Then she finds out she's special in a bad way. Then she finds out there's the possibility of a Wraith takeover of her mind!

The only good thing that comes out of the episode is that we learn their actual goal. Rather than steaming to Atlantis to gobble them all up, they want the greater prize of taking the Stargate so they can head to pastures new: the juicy Milky Way galaxy, full of unsuspecting planets to devour! It ups the stakes, if they needed to be upped, and might make some kind of connection with 'SG-1' possible, although saying that, I don't remember them mentioning much in Season 8 of that series, which was running parallel with this first season, so it's unlikely we'll have those guys helping out. I'm sure they want these characters to save the day for themselves anyway and show their mettle, but it's not exactly reassuring when Weir calls a meeting to basically ask for suggestions from anyone who might have one on what they're going to do! And the meeting seemed to end pretty fruitlessly. I don't think it was one of the best episodes of the season, but hopefully it's just the lull before the big two-part storm that should finish the season with a bang. I just wish the psychological stuff in this one had been played up, not to mention the horror of walking round a Hive ship, or the nightmares and realisation that Teyla isn't herself for a few moments. In that vein, I thought the shock value and the makeup of her transformation into a Wraith was good, I just don't feel they've cracked the 'Stargate' formula with this season. Either it's too action-packed with too little character, or when it does focus on a character, as this one did, it doesn't come off very impressively.

**

The Avenger

DVD, Starsky & Hutch S4 (The Avenger) (2)

"You! You! Yooouuuuu!" I remember the first time I saw this it was a singularly chilling experience. S&H had gone up against cult leaders, vampires and assorted evil before this, but never something so subtle and personal as the unsettled mind of Monique Travers. What makes it more disturbing is the realistic way the episode is played, far from the comedy and self-parody of some, assisted by a different directing style which features a lot of handheld camera work to put you closer to the action and emphasise the unsteady nature of the story, or shots that play to the audience's fears, such as Monique standing up, her face right in front of the camera while Starsky's position is made to look precarious and weak by his small size in the background sitting down, unaware of the coming storm that's about to wreak crazy vengeance upon him, Monique talking slowly and clearly, almost in monotone, before turning and moving robotically away. But the most terrifying sequence of all (aside from Minnie the lab technician at Police Headquarters who's practicing kung fu in the wee hours when Hutch calls her for results on the hair and broken glass he and Starsky discovered at the hotel room), is the hatred and rage on Monique's face as Starsky falls into a drug-induced state from her camomile tea and 'special spices.' His vision blurs, everything goes into slow motion and the familiar wobbling synth horror music we've heard before (though without percussion this time, which used to be the standard horror marker), screams out in accompaniment to the vixen's murderous rampage, the camera bending and falling at nightmarish angles as Starsky fights for his life!

It's an incredibly effective sequence, made more horrible by the fact that Starsky has no way of knowing Hutch is even still up at that hour and desperately attempts to fight off his attacker, before padlocking himself in the greenhouse while the enraged Fury snarls and claws at the pitifully thin glass separating her from her prey, eventually smashing it with a shovel. But Hutch, when he's got something caught in his mind, is tenacious in pursuing it, his cop's gut instinct pulling him along to reexamine the identikit that was given for Harry Ashford. That was the earliest clue that 'Harry' wasn't quite what he seemed, but I'm impressed with how they handled the mystery: the first killing, of unfortunate Phil who showed Monique about as much respect as a piece of meat and paid the price, is strange, but we don't have the slightest inkling of just how strange, it's just a nasty attack by what appears to be a man in a suit and hat, wielding a kitchen knife (effective use of the kettle's whistle signals the coming sentence of death, which pays off later as it unsettles us when Starsky's there and the same ominous whistle is heard). The only clue is the unnatural voice we hear when Harry comes a-calling to 'protect' Monique's 'honour.' The next clue is that the San Francisco police have no records of him from his earlier offence of killing another of Monique's boyfriends. The only evidence of his existence is an artist's impression, presumably from Monique's description, which looks quite soft-faced, almost effeminate, which should be enough to hint that it was no man, but a woman in disguise.

The second attack, of Roger, the guy who thinks so much of himself, is where we're given the knowledge, but far from being a relief to finally see the murderer it chills even more: for it is Monique herself, pulling off her wig, suiting up, be-hatted and be-knifed, the Harry personality completely taking her over for a violent rampage on the completely unsuspecting and unprepared victim, whom, like others before him, had merely used her and then shown little interest. It makes you wonder how many men she brought back to her place - the others must have treated her slightly better, or not done anything to arouse Harry's temper, or perhaps she was simply unsuccessful in her endeavours, but it seems hard to believe from what her sister, Bobbie, says of her, or her attitude to men, so I do wonder what went on before these two murders. After this, Dobey's on high alert and puts S&H on the case as decoy's for this mysterious man that doesn't exist. There's a little of the competitive banter between them over who should be the one that hangs out with Monique, but in keeping with the heavy atmosphere the comedy isn't played up. Though there are lighter scenes with Huggy at the beginning and end of the episode, right from the aftermath of the first murder there's an impression of seriousness and intent from the manner of shooting, with the handheld style occurring while Hutch looks around Monique's place to the noise of police bustle.

Delaney the Medical Examiner almost qualified as one of the series' usual eccentrics in that he seems happy in his grisly work and trades a bit of banter with S&H, but it's all very mild. In fact the episode is almost devoid of the eccentrics, running jokes, references or anything but the serious matter at hand, until Hutch gets chatted up by a large girl at The Cellar disco. She's not really that much of a crazy character, but it's almost a callback to the first episode of the season, 'Discomania' (they should have brought Judith back, but Suzanne Kent does fine - oddly, I just saw her in an episode of 'Taxi' where she played a similar role of a person sensitive about her weight). Minnie's the only truly wacky type, but then that was her in her off hours, taking advantage of the emptiness to use the lab (the same beige-tiled set we've seen before), for exercise, and as soon as Hutch is asking questions she's all business. It breaks up the constant heaviness of the episode and allows for new tension to mount as Hutch (accompanied only by Pinky or Perky), pieces together the evidence in the early hours using archaic identikits to get a match for… at first it's a blind as he thinks Bobbie could be the culprit and storms round her place. In the first, I'm surprised she'd be up after midnight when he visits, as Starsky's ordeal happens during one night (but she was religious so she could have been up praying), and in the second it's a testament to her that she doesn't respond badly to Hutch's belligerent attitude, coming across as a caring individual that only wants to help her sister despite the lifestyle she leads.

Bobbie's a really sympathetic character, no more so than when Hutch has managed to prevent Monique/Harry from stabbing Starsky, locking her up while she continues to snarl and rave like a thwarted animal. Rather than hang back in dismay or shock, Bobbie runs right over to soothe and comfort her schizophrenic sister in a touching moment of sibling care, while S&H sit in the wreckage of the smashed greenhouse catching their breaths. We've seen one or the other act in desperation to save the other many times before, but it never fails to disappoint - this time Hutch practically kicked Monique's front door off its hinges! You always feel that as long as the other guy's around, then whoever's in danger will be saved, and not just because of the logistics of it being a TV series in which you need both of them to make it work, so of course they weren't going to kill one, but when you're in that world and it's a reality, you believe in them as super friends that will do anything for the other, or for their other friends.

This time it's like S&H had swapped roles, as usually it's Starsky that has the unconventional ideas and Hutch who's the science guy, but in the running joke this week he's got his hands on some 'biorhythm calculator,' which Starsky considers baloney, while he insists that his friend's in trouble (which comes back at the end when they have a picnic with Hug that reminded me of Season 1 and Abigail Crabtree's picnic - only this time there's a very unrealistic-looking wasp that lands on Starsky's knee and stings him in the hand when he grabs it!). There's also the bigger deal of Starsky drinking Monique's herb tea which is usually health-conscious Hutch's domain, and not only that, but he picks up a guitar and sings a song! It was only fair, since we'd already had Hutch performing in 'Moonshine,' but it's usually his party piece. Starsky's is the dancing, and he gets to cut some shapes on the disco floor (good to see they were getting their money's worth on that set again!), with Monique, trying to make Harry jealous so he'll strike again, without realising Harry was who he was dancing with, in a way. I wonder if that was an original song he sang or one that already existed - it sounded genuine, but on the DVD there are no subtitles of the words or song title, nor is there any credit for it, so I'd be interested to know where it came from: Paul Michael Glaser's head?

One thing I can never work out in all the times I've watched this, is whether it's really Joanna Cassidy as Harry all the time. Sometimes you can tell it's her, like when she's cuffed against the wall at the end, the camera in her face as she impotently rages, but was it her doing the actual knife attacks? Presumably there was a stuntman involved for some of it, such as when Starsky kicks the assailant over his head, and some shots don't look like her, but when we see her pull off the wig in the bathroom, revealing straight black hair (apparently in contradiction to Bobbie's assertion that under the wig she wears she's actually a brunette like her), is it the actress? It must be, but I wonder if the black hair was also a wig or if that was her natural look because the rest of the episode the hair she has does not look fake whatsoever. It seems more likely that they were able to flatten down that under a black wig, especially as you can tell the wig she removes standing in front of the mirror is a wig, as it doesn't look like her hair throughout the episode. But that's enough about hair!

Cassidy (later to be immortalised in the Trek canon by playing T'Pol's Mother on 'Enterprise'), does a terrific job of this woman with a split personality, being both vulnerable, yet unable to help her addiction to men, horrified by the murders, completely unable to see it was done by her, the snarling, rage-filled, but also somehow moral Harry taking the place of conscience as he expresses her distaste for her own lifestyle, except taken to extremes. She claims that Harry helped her through a breakup, that she talked to him all night as they wandered the streets, and it must have been this jilting that turned her mind and created the alter ego. But she genuinely appears innocent of it all, hearing this voice, not wanting Harry to do what he's come to do, yet powerless to intervene. I wonder if the voice we hear is just her interpretation of it, and that what everyone else hears is probably not quite as weird, but it's still a distressing subject for the series to address - I wish there had been some explanation for the condition, but we're still in a time when mental health wasn't fully understood.

For once we get a timeline for much of the episode since Captain Dobey states that there have been two murders in three nights, and then S&H mention it's been three nights on the job trying to bait Harry before Monique gets Starsky alone and persuades him to take her home - we'll have to assume that the noisy disco prevented them from discussing things in detail before that point. I wonder what happened to S&H's day duties while they were on this special assignment? I suppose this was the case they were working on so that's what mattered, and two murders was incentive enough to keep at it. Dobey is characteristically blunt when Starsky complains about how many hotels there are for them to check out in the area: "Count 'em," Dobey replies! A shot of Starsky at The Cellar looks quite similar to one in the credits from a different episode, but it definitely wasn't the same. In terms of procedure the police really needed to step it up, since they failed to find the incriminating hat, suit and knife at Monique's, nor do they ever suspect her of carrying out the act - that can be explained away as she acts like one who genuinely believes it was this Harry, because she does. But she's not so shocked that she doesn't go out and pick up a second man! And still they don't suspect her.

There are a couple of amusing little gaffes, both from David Soul. He muffs his line when he's talking to the barman: "Her sister shaid she may have come in here." Maybe it genuinely was noisy in there, so he couldn't concentrate on the line? There's also the moment at the end when he helps his partner to sit, but pushes his head into a low-hanging lampshade! There's a good reference to Sherlock Holmes when Hutch actually emulates the deductive reasoning of the Great Detective and Starsky calls him that, so he returns the compliment, calling Starsky 'Watson' in response. I wonder if the moment Hutch checks the shower in Monique's bathroom was meant to be some sort of reference to 'Psycho'? Other than that it's all about the story, but there are some returning faces from the series of old: second victim, the moustachioed Roger, was played by Michael Delano who'd been Billy in Season 1's 'The Bait,' while the hotel clerk (GW Bailey), had been Slade in, fittingly, Season 2's 'The Vampire.' And finally, Charles Cyphers was back as Delaney (this time with Special Guest Star status, so I don't know what happened to his career to make that change appropriate), where he'd previously been Arthur Cole in Season 2's 'The Specialist.'

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