A Body Worth Guarding

DVD, Starsky & Hutch S3 (A Body Worth Guarding)

Russian prima ballerina Anna Akhanatova is visiting town to put on her show, and someone wants to kill her. So S&H get the assignment to protect her, so Hutch ends up getting attached, so… so many other episodes had done this story before - just this season alone we'd already had 'Fatal Charm,' another Hutch romance, and 'I Love You, Rosey Malone,' the same thing for Starsky, but going back to Season 2 we'd had 'Gillian' for Hutch and 'Starsky's Lady' for Starsky, as well as the same kind of bodyguard story in 'Long Walk Down A Short Dirt Road,' only that was better because they didn't feel the need to go into the romantic side of things, making it more about the threat and the action. The threat and the action in this episode is limited to a group of Jewish Organisation for Action members picketing the theatre to protest the treatment of Jews in Russia, and a scuffle when the Fascist Party of America try to use them as a cover to take down Anna and blame it on the Jews! Unless you mean the other kind of action - there's plenty of smooching for Hutch (or Hooch as she calls him), so although they bring up some potentially interesting political and religious themes, they're very much shunted into the background for a focus on Hutch's unprofessionalism, once again.

I think that's one of the main things about it that I don't like - while it's fine for Hutch to have a girlfriend and bring some of his home life into the series, when he's supposed to be doing a job, calmly, detached, his full faculties devoted to a serious operation, it's not amusing to see him be so frivolous, lured in by an exotic Russian girl, with no rhyme or reason to it. They start off by quickly souring on each other so that Hutch starts to wish he hadn't been given the assignment, again alluding to some interesting Russia versus The West arguments, but then they soon sidestep exploring cultural differences in exchange for Anna's sudden realisation that Hutch would die to protect her if it came to that. Perhaps she sees it as old-fashioned gallantry, and Hutch (who seems more twangy American than usual, emphasising the difference between them), is suddenly something attractive in this foreign country where she's far from home, and there's probably a bit of the challenge in overcoming his grumpiness towards her, so whatever it is of these factors that draws them together, it happens over a few minutes of talk, and before you know it they're lying by a log fire having an arm wrestle, literally.

Anna wasn't exactly the character I thought she was going to be: a spoiled brat with incessant demands reuqiring constant badgering attention from S&H just to keep her cooperating, but I must be thinking of someone else, because although she starts out stiff and frosty, it's more her hard work and dedication to ballet that comes across. It's not even that she's unhappy with her lot, or can't stand Masha, her instructor, in fact she really doesn't have much to give us reason to feel sympathy for, she's just there, and after going all doe-eyed on Hutch she happily cooperates. This makes the story of her attempted assassination a bit weak since she just does what she's told and the villains, the old Steinmetz, presumably a German, and his willing young American tool, Miller, aren't well sketched creations. The episode is always small, whether they're driving around in darkness which always gives a claustrophobic atmosphere to the city (they couldn't light it very well so everything gets blanketed in darkness), or watching Anna at the ballet (it looked like stock footage to me, the actual ballerina didn't look the same), and because S&H are shown fairly closeup, you know they're not really at a grand hall. The same when we see the real Anna on stage accepting applause, the camera's zoomed in in a poor attempt to disguise the modest dimensions of the theatre. This extends to the times when S&H escort her to or from the theatre, always in the side entrance, a small, dingy side street where the protesters gather.

If you're being generous you can perhaps accept the sudden change in relations between Hutch and Anna, since he'd started the episode off moaning to Starsky about the meaning of life, and missing something. I guess he just wanted companionship, not some deep thing, it was just a mood he was in. But that at least explains the irritation with 'those kind of people,' with beauty on the outside and nothing more, that he was talking about in his disgust at Anna's anti-American sentiments. There the running theme ends and he's soon doting on Anna, the frost evaporating over a cup of tea at 2am, once she's understood she misjudged his rudeness, such as going through doors first - he's just doing his job (though he was doing it with an attitude which was itself unprofessional!). So as I said, you can forgive the sudden change between them, but you can't forgive the small scope of the episode, or that it barely glances over some interesting themes. The America versus Russia debate would have been interesting as an ongoing argument, as we had Anna complaining how unsafe America is, people wanting to kill her, Hutch responding that it's safer in Russia, but only as long as you're following the rules of the state. She also notes the protest against her country, Hutch rejoining that at least they're allowed to protest.

Anti-Semitism, too, could have provided ample story potential, another touchy subject to add to the season's collection, but the fascist villains are two-dimensional with no exploration given to why they want to damage the Jewish reputation or the history of Steinmetz. It could have been a tragic story of misguided youth, cunningly manipulated by the older man, but Miller is simply eager to do some damage and is one of the weakest opponents this season, never providing a real threat. As usual I was left unsure of the fate of those behind the crime, as I don't think Steinmetz was mentioned again. Did he remain undiscovered? If he was a shadowy figure that returned from time to time to cause S&H trouble then it wouldn't have mattered, it would have been a good way to introduce him, but instead he just fades into nothing. Having assistance from Kauffman, someone who was a big part of the Jewish community could also have been made into a bigger deal, but he's only there to control the protesters and help foil the Fascist strike - far too much time is given over to Hutch's romancing, to the detriment of the story. He even takes Anna back to Venice Place for a guitar session and a song. This makes sense from the perspective of David Soul, the actor getting to show off his skills in music (not to mention in walking on his hands!), but that's all it becomes: a showcase.

What came close to saving the episode was that he and Starsky were on top form with each other - that's what we really want to see, because who cares about some Russian ballerina that you know is going to move on at the end of the episode (though I didn't expect the arm wrestling ending with Anna versus Starsky, and a finger's help from Hutch)? We watch the series for the banter and joyous ribbing between S&H, and they really are on fire, starting out as friendly cop, grumpy cop, with Starsky all cheesy grin as he tries to charm Anna, or going back even further, to the start of the episode, the old debate between S&H's lifestyles and outlooks, Hutch thinking on deeper things and calling his partner a hedonist for only caring about pleasure, then the usual fighting over a woman begins right from the moment a particularly irascible (and delightfully so), Captain Dobey gives them the assignment, Hutch pulling Anna's photo out of Starsky's reach. So you think it might be one of those where they comedically compete for attention, which would at least have been funny, but Starsky's mostly underused. He does get to go round acting cool, such as in the scene at The Pits (with new red neon sign!), where Huggy isn't keen on him showing up at his establishment, and they have a fruitless chat in a back room that is nonetheless witty and suave, the music adding an irresistible seventies cool. But Starsky does the grunt work while Hutch enjoys himself, and keeping them apart keeps us from the great banter and juxtaposition that is the chemistry this series thrives on.

It's telling that the best scene is exactly that, Starsky (or Starevski as Anna calls him - they missed a trick as no one ever says 'he's Hooch, I'm Starevski'), coming to Century Plaza where she's staying, Hutch is caught off guard in a compromising position, and to see his duplicitous antics to disguise things as being normal, is both laughable and enjoyable as we know Starsky isn't fooled for a moment, and clearly enjoys teasing his partner, prowling around with a twinkle in his eye, making the most of Hutch's stress. His faux relaxed attitude and breathless covering-up is comedy gold, but I couldn't help feeling that when Dobey rang he should have given his man an earful about being professional and not taking advantage of foreign guests, especially the irritable mood he was in, but no one really seems to mind, or they turn a blind eye, which is inappropriate to say the least. You'd think Masha would have something to say about this blond cop getting in the way of Anna's singleminded focus on ballet (for a Special Guest Star, Signe Hasso doesn't have much to do, either). But that's the way it goes - once again the serious, or slow side of the episode wins out over comedy or sense to give us another Hutch in love episode. In its defence I enjoyed it slightly more than expected because of the humour that does slip through (the overreaction of Hutch to the bellhop delivering newspapers, flinging the door wide and brandishing his huge gun in the most threatening of manners, then realising his mistake and pretending it was a joke and this huge handgun's made of liquorice!), and S&H, when they are together, are good value.

There isn't much in the way of usual extras to sift through. Starsky says Anna's got more moves than Muhammad Ali when impressed at the ballet, while Hutch is enjoying the exquisite artistry, and showing his cultured and high-mindedness for such things, while Starsky remains ignorant of the correct response and the terminology, another example of them displaying their different approaches to life (made me think of the caviar scene in 'Bust Amboy'). Not that Hutch is always high-minded, he hasn't learnt from his experiences earlier in the season and still leaves his key above the door as this is how Starsky knows he's at home - the key's not there. This could be seen as evidence that Hutch does indeed refrain from putting the key up there now, but since Starsky is expecting it, and since Hutch is in, we can take it for granted that Hutch's usual lazy approach to security has returned! Allan Miller's back for his second role after being 'The Psychic' last season, as Morty Kauffman, and I thought Steinmetz actor John O'Leary had been in 'Murder Ward,' but it was a different actor entirely who played Freddie Lyle (Joey Forman), the Sam Spade fanatic, but I always thought it was just a good makeup and hair job because their faces were similar, so it pays to check the credits! The sturdy, greying guy in the crowd near the Torrino was a regular background actor, most recently spotted in 'The Action,' and rather than being Russian, Anna Akhanatova actress Monique Van De Ven sounds more Dutch to me.

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