Toxic

DVD, Smallville S8 (Toxic)

So a man walks into a bar and collapses, right? The press thinks he's drunk, but the punchline is that he's been poisoned by an unknown source. Oooh, exciting, eh? Well, actually no. I was turned off by the start at the Ace of Clubs, and it wasn't until I saw the flashback memories a dying Oliver Queen (for it was he), had about being washed up on a tropical island that I became interested, because we were getting to see the Green Arrow origin story! How great is that! Only it's the origin story with added Tess Mercer and no natives - fair enough, they didn't have time to show us the two years Queen spent on the island and how it changed his life and made him resolve to be a good guy - they'd included the 'webisodes' on one of the DVD sets which showed this story in animated form, so it was thrilling to see at least some of those scenes for real. If only the whole episode had been about that instead of a short-lived mystery of who was doing the poisoning and why, since no one who didn't already know actually found out much about those motives (although Clark was able to save Mercer again), and the villain was very underwhelming, just the kidnapper from the island days who survived a shot of the poison and came back to avenge himself on Queen and Mercer.

The episode has the same problems these latter seasons have had in terms of dialogue not sounding natural, people not behaving naturally (Queen letting the centipede go even though he hadn't eaten for days, and then being able to run around after wild boars, craft arrows, etc), and people shouting at each other to get their points across, again with bad dialogue that makes them sound like simpletons (even some misspeaks from certain cast members - watch the scene at the end with Lois and Clark for an example), such as when Oliver diverts the conversation to how life was on the island (cold here, hot there, and mosquitoes, dude! Mosquitoes!). The other thing is there's no solid ongoing threat, everyone's sort of friendly in different ways, whether that's professionally between Clark and his boss, Tess, or Davis in his capacity as a medic; yet also they're moody with each other, particularly Oliver who gives Clark a good tongue-lashing at the end for not telling him his parents were killed by Lionel (something I couldn't remember if we knew from before, but we must have, it's just another detail that slips the mind because of the lack of momentum or significance on an episode by episode basis), after being given the dossier by Mercer, claiming he's too afraid to trust friends, fulfil his destiny, afraid of everything. I know it was said in anger, but for him to suggest Clark hadn't had his own 'island experience' of trauma and change is to forget everything that's happened in the last seven seasons! Where's the cool Queen of Season 6 - though vulnerable, he had a strength to his character that has yet to return, though we saw glimpses from the flashbacks.

The other annoyances are the soapy aspects, with Lois seeing a dying Oliver and regretting their parting, yet also confiding in Clark that she didn't want to duplicate the Clark and Lana roller-coaster (more of a merry-go-round, without any merry, in my eyes), but even mentioning such things, reminding us of the flaws and inconsistencies of the series is a no-no. Not to mention the sickly meetings of Chloe and Davis - now she shares a special secret with him that even Jimmy doesn't know. You remember Jimmy, he was the one who used to be in the series… You do remember? Anyway, it appears that since Chloe had dealings with Brainiac (I can't remember what happened, did she get taken over, it doesn't matter), she's become hyper-intelligent and can read at android speed (I'm talking Mr. Data, not mobile phones…). Anyway, why set all this up except for teen trauma which we don't need, especially as the series is supposed to be 'growing up' with Clark wearing suits and smart shirts now. Not content with a story wandering all over the place when it should have successfully concentrated on the island, we get the not long-awaited first meetings of Lois and Davis, and Queen gets to visit the Luthor mansion, though it feels dead and empty without a Lex or a Lionel inside, part of a past long gone. Except it's the only tie to this still being called 'Smallville' so they had to keep it in (plus it saves money on giving Mercer a brand new office complex, especially when she's got the Daily Planet Editor's room, too).

So far so average. I would have thought in three episodes there would have been one to capture the imagination or get me excited, but aside from some good sequences on the island (including a nifty visual effect as Queen uses his skills to throw a makeshift arrow at his captor), this was the same dumb, slow soap that didn't teach us anything, didn't have much to say, and feels like the series is really marking time. How it survived for another two seasons after this I don't know unless things pick up. In fairness, there's usually good patches in a 'Smallville' season, so I await them in hope and increasing desperation, because aside from watching to write reviews I can't say I'm enjoying it. Marks for not making the villain Queen's 'girlfriend'/party hanger-on, but it's small comfort. Even the new end credits music, which I've not heard before, immediately seems to pall.

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