Blue

DVD, Smallville S7 (Blue)

"Join me, and together we can rule…" is basically what Zor-El says to Clark. What is it about these megalomaniacs that they want to share power? And is the Kryptonian culture sexist so that he does't think to team up with his own daughter, Kara, or was it because he didn't think he could properly bring her round to trust him. Maybe it was the evil thrill of tarnishing the 'purity' of his hated brother's son that inspired him to Baddie Choice #101 of offering to share power. Maybe he needs a subordinate to tell what to do: someone who'll be there to see how great he is (and ultimately stab him in the back and topple him from power as always happens). Who knows how the mind of ultimate ambition and domination works. His offer to Clark is such a cliche, but it was far from the only one in this waste of space, that does and says nothing in it's 40-plus minutes, except for one major plot development (I'll get to it), the only moment which elicited any reaction to what was happening. And don't forget, this is an episode in which Clark actually meets his Mum!

He meets his Mum, but it has all the involvement of him seeing Lana or Lex or Chloe again - there's pretty much nothing going on there, and a major loss of drama. I get that it's not technically his real Mum, since she died, but it's some kind of 'replicant' as Lara calls Zor-El, and I assume they both are, but to Clark she's real. But will these writers script us a good meeting scene? Nope. It didn't matter what happened with Lara and Zor-El anyway because the Super Reset Button is pushed as hard as possible before the end, leading to the pair vanishing in a puff of blue smoke as if they'd never been. At least we were spared them dragging it out into a multi-episode arc, but then we'd have had some development, surely? The only time that story meant anything to me was when they use Green Arrow's penthouse as their (inefficient), hideout, a nod back to last season when episodes were actually pretty good.

This time it's Jimmy that gets the boot, though Lex and Lionel are hardly in it. No, this is the Lois and… and… that Editor guy's show. Now what was his name? I will say that his identity was well played out in the episodes he's been in, so that you're never quite sure if you've heard his name or not, or why he should be in charge of the Planet at such a relatively young age, but we do get resolution to that mystery at last: he's a Luthor. No, I never guessed that for one minute, and half expected some kind of Perry White-related reveal, even though we'd already seen Perry back in Season 3. Not just any Luthor though, he's the deceased Julian Luthor! Now that could put a bit of a damper on older episodes if you were to watch them again as we've seen Lex go through a lot of anguish about his brother's untimely death, but it's a good surprise and very well done. Even when Lex and he are clearly in cahoots and we find out that he put him in the position at the Planet, it was completely unexpected that he was actually his brother. And just after we found out his alias of Grant Gabriel.

What's not so hot is the awful, mushy soap plot about whether Editor Guy, (or Gabriel, or Julian), and Lois are a couple or not. I really could not care less and it's a completely dull and pointless road to travel. And that they're now keeping it a secret means nothing to me. It's hardly in the same ballpark as the real identity of the Green Arrow. Or even in the same state… That's my subtle way of crossing over to one of the other scenes that closes out the episode: after being attacked by Zor-El in the Fortress Kara vanishes (for no apparent reason), and wakes up in Detroit with no memory of who she is. [Sound of party poppers and blowers!] Yes, that's a great idea isn't it, let's see how many fantastic stories we can get out of that. We've already had her run off and leave Clark; go off for fun; and now she's left him by accident. How many ways are there to get her out of Smallville/Metropolis?

The Fortress, as good a set as it is, continues to make little coherence. Now it has the ability to darken the sun somehow, and Zor-El's plan is… what? Wait for all life to die out? That could take a while. Then he… what? Takes over the desolate remains… to do… what? These villains really need to work out their long term strategies in detail. All he thinks about is repopulating Earth with Lara and being a new Adam and Eve. Every single super villain thinks they can don a black Neo 'Matrix' coat, throw around the ones they love and take over a planet, but once all the fun's out the way, what then? He obviously wasn't leader material, and I can see why Jor-El is considered such a good guy by the Kryptonians (that are positively crawling out of the crystal work these days). Compared to his bro, he must have been saintly. So anyway, the Fortress has all kinds of powers that can be used on a whim, it seems, but what I wanted to know was how all these people went to and fro to get to it? How did Clark and Lara return to the Kent farm when he's first chucked the crystal in? I can't really see Lara dashing along at superspeed in that frilly white dress, but sometimes people seem to just appear there, or somewhere else as happened to Kara, without rhyme or reason.

The real point of the episode, as far as the title was concerned, was the blue ring that robs Clark of his powers. There's not even a hint of the potential of this plot device, probably because it's been done before. Chloe gets one line about Clark maybe seeing it as an advantage, but he's gone way past ever really wanting to be human and powerless again so it's not explored. At all. It could have been worse: I was half expecting that soldier guy from Season 3 to come back, the one who shot meteor freaks with blue Kryptonite bullets, at least I think that's what he did. So as far as I remembered, the blue variety had been covered before, yet Clark seems surprised when he loses his abilities. Maybe all the events that have happened since have confused him - with Kryptonite in practically all the colours of the rainbow, I'm not surprised.

Little tidbits came out that kept my interest level up even while the story had no substance: I liked the mention of Aunt Nell again; it was good to have Lionel's character spelled out as still being considered to be the 'vessel' of Jor-El, which explains why he continues to help Clark; and the fateful warning of Jor-El has been done many times before, so it's nothing new for him to promise some doom for the disobedience of using the blue crystal, (Clark affected by his 'human' emotions. But Kryptonians are hardly Vulcans in the emotional states themselves…). How Jor-El carries out all his threats is a mystery, even Zor-El notes he's nothing but a disembodied voice, but we'll find out about the doom soon, I'm sure. I didn't really mean that this episode is a waste of space, it's more like a vacuum where there should be solid matter to chew on. And the biggest vacuum is space.

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