Bizarro

DVD, Smallville S7 (Bizarro)

'Bizarro' by name… Yes, there wasn't much of a story going on here, but it was done in that 'Smallville' style where they distract you with big bangs and crashes while attempting the clunky sleight of hand that makes you think you've seen a reasonably good episode. You haven't, there's not a story here, it's just a sequence of events, but it keeps you interested with the occasional good moment or scene, answering the questions left by last season's cliffhanger, and the first half rattles along vigorously so it's not too noticeable. Villain Bizarro, who I have the feeling is a baddie from the comics (I've heard the name before), was easy to beat, but I wasn't sobbing about his quick departure as it wouldn't have been compelling drama to watch two Tom Welling's throwing each other through walls/trees/whatever was around, for long. The only difference between them visually speaking was the occasional glitches on his face, and aurally, the voice was deeper. He was an evil version of Clark and he did evil things, there wasn't anything more to the character than that. The intervention from 'Morpheus' (or whatever Phil Morris' leather-coated adviser was called), left me wondering what happened to Bizarro. Was he thrown into the sun, locked away somehow, or left on a neighbouring planet to make an unwelcome comeback? Let's hope it was option A.

The reminder of the end of last season was useful, the continuation quite exciting, and it gave rise to one of the best moments, where Clark saves a young boy and his Dad by turning the onrushing tidal wave into steam in a proper Superman move! Other good points were Lex wondering why he'd seemingly been spared by an angel, and sadly contemplating Lana's death. What will happen when he realises his angel was actually a… well, what is she? That's one of the big questions left in the viewer's mind at the episode's end, along with 'why is Lana wearing a very fake wig in Shanghai?' For the first question, my guess is she's Kara (since that's the name of Episode 2), who may have been Superman's cousin, I don't know my comic lore, so I could be wrong. Seems likely she's (another!), Kryptonian who somehow survived Krypton's annihilation, but be she good or be she bad, we'll be sure to find out soon. As for Lana, I really didn't know if she was coming back, but MAJOR SPOILER ALERT!!! - she does. That spoiler, by the way, is given away in the opening credits, which was both heartening (she's not dead!), and a waste of a good reveal.

The main titles haven't changed much since the revamp of Season 5(?), although Annette O'Toole is conspicuous by her absence (the Kent family home seemed so much emptier! - I'd love to know why she left…), replaced by Laura Vandervoort, the striking blonde supergirl of the episode. Also joining the regulars is Aaron Ashmore as Jimmy Olsen, though he doesn't even make the flicker of an appearance in this first episode. Neither does Lionel, reduced to lying in a river until hauled out by a mystery man in a long leather coat. I thought it was 'Morpheus,' but he doesn't mention it to Clark so there's another mystery at hand. I was left to ponder whether 'Morpheus' was hanging around Clark a bit longer or not, because he gives him this big talk and I got the impression his work was done for the moment. I like Phil Morris, but I think we'd need to get to know his character better before I could count him a success, as so far he's remained an enigma, there to give a bit of wisdom and say things like 'it is your battle' and 'humanity is your greatest strength and your greatest vulnerability,' or words to that effect.

Another question we're left with is whether Chloe is going to use her status of being officially dead (according to records), to her advantage. Clark's rescue of her from the morgue gave the impression they were going to get out secretly, but it's a bit weird not to reveal yourself to the doctors and admit you didn't die after all. No weirder than having a superpower where you can heal wounds with the drop of a tear, admittedly, and Chloe has been officially dead before, back at the end of Season 3 and beginning of Season 4 when she and Dad, Gabe, had to hide until they could testify against the evil Lionel for killing his own parents - oh, but of course Lionel's not evil any more, he must have been forgiven for the murders, or more likely everyone conveniently forgot. Will Chloe's situation become clearer? Yes, after dragging it out for a while, no doubt.

Of course Lois is so dopey she wouldn't realise unless Chloe's death certificate were published inside her own eyelids - once again she proves her stupidity or lack of observation (she's never going to hack it as a newspaper hack!), by failing to realise Clark becoming Supersleaze is more likely some crazy meteorite-type danger, instead putting it down to the 'shock' of Clark finding out Lana was dead. So… that made him become a lech? Riiiight. On another note, I'd have expected Chloe to frame her death certificate and hang it on the wall with pride - the old Chloe of seasons past would have! And what was the purpose of the little girl being trapped in the dam with Lois and Chloe, were we supposed to wonder if she was a Zoner, or was it a subplot that had been forgotten?

As we're used to, there was no finesse to the fight scenes, and any moment when Bizarro Phantom Clark violently kills someone it seemed gratuitous, only there to remind us what a bad'un he is (he also does a Rambo-type self-surgery thing), as if we needed reminding! Clark defeated him easily in the end, and he came across as a loose end that had been supposed to leave us gaping in awe at the end of Season 6, but had nowhere to go after that. The only redemptive quality to his appearance was that it gave Lex time to show his good side a bit more. He's already allowing the authorities to hold him responsible for Lana's death, but he doesn't give the impression that he knows she's not dead, and he's not angry at Lionel, so… could it mean he did plan to blow her up? No, that would be insane because he's shown how much he cared for her. He turns on Bizarro, but we all knew there was no point pulling a gun against a creature that's faster than a speeding bullet, but it did at least show him in a favourable light when he could have tried to find out Clark's secret, as Bizarro tempted him, meaning he makes the right choice and gets smacked into metal pipes for it.

It was style over substance again, but the episode ended well with the montage of various characters doing various things without words, just the music, like the old episodes. And again there are plenty of things to make you wonder, but I grade this a tentative three stars, hoping for more to grasp onto in narrative terms. It may have been the enjoyment of seeing the characters again after a break, but I'm up for more 'Smallville' so roll on episode 2.

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