Vessel

DVD, Smallville S5 (Vessel)

Okay, so it's the final episode of the season, all the meandering plots of the year come to a head, and of course, it has to have big action, and a cliffhanger which leaves all the characters in jeopardy and excites interest for the next season. I was going along with it to begin with, the teaser features some exciting scenes as Lex is drawn to a field and 'beamed up' as Lana looks on. A good start, I thought, but from experience of most of the season-enders I didn't get my hopes up that this would turn into a good story. Somehow I was still disappointed, even with low expectations, because it doesn't have a story, it's a series of scenes that ought to come from 'Super-Cliche', not Superman. I'm not sure at what point my slight hopes began to sink, but I soon became unconcerned about what was happening, because it was all so melodramatic and corny.

Clark decides to listen to Jor-el once again, one of many character inconsistencies that, in truth, is fairly common on the series, but this episode points the finger at them bluntly: why should he trust Jor-el? For that matter, why should he trust Lionel, who is quick to trot up to his loft in the barn, lay a fatherly hand on Clark, and dispense friendly advice. I was waiting, and still await, the 'real' Lionel Luthor to show himself. He's so open about Lex and his upbringing, such an intense contravention of his persona in other seasons in which everything was held tightly to his chest. Anyway, Clark ends up with a mission to kill Lex because he's the vessel of the title, which Zod will use as a host body, saving them from having to employ some well-known guest actor to play him as I expected. It makes sense in a way, because Lex is the villain of the series, or he has become it, though his 'is he bad, is he good' persona was so much more interesting to watch. Now he's become the standard Evil Villain Template, complete with sneer and long black leather coat.

Clark tells Chloe he may have to kill to Lex, somehow Lana overhears this. I'm not sure where her extreme devotion to Lex comes from, but it was never arrived at believably, and her animosity to Clark is almost shouting at him that he should have trusted her with his secret powers, as Lex has. So much that should have been left unsaid is bluntly spoken onscreen as if there never was any mystery. Okay, so Lana doesn't know about Clark yet, but Lex finds out in the brief rumble he and Clark enjoy in the barn, though it's little more than a shoving match as so many 'Smallville' fights are - one person chucks the other into a wall, then the other person comes back and chucks the first person into a wall. Great. I doubt Lex will even remember about Clark's powers once he comes out of Zod's control.

Amid all the 'intrigue' if you can call it that, Martha has zero to do except for taking a flight on the Luthor jet to some conference or something, with her PA Lois. Once again they openly discuss Lionel and Martha. Of course there has to be a plane in the episode so that something can go wrong with it - in this case they are kidnapped by Fine, or one of the Fine clones, who is the pilot. How exciting, will they survive the lack of oxygen as they slump to the deck in the cliffhanger. You can just tell it's going to be a simple matter to sort that storyline out.

Somehow, Clark chucking the special Kryptonian dagger his Dad gave him at the Fortress of Solitude, into one of the Fine's is what opens the doorway to the Phantom Zone so Zod can inhabit Lex. So what was the point of the dagger, and how was Zod supposed to get out if Clark hadn't done that? It just doesn't make for a cohesive story, and for that reason becomes a jumble of craziness that is far-out and wacky rather than legendary and mysterious. The dialogue doesn't help with some awful lines that could have been taken from any given B-film. As always, I must say I understand that this is all based on a comic book character, and that comic books are full of wackiness, but this is a TV series and it often had its own brand of wackiness that you bought into, but so many times they've crossed the boundaries and it feels ridiculous and out of its own context. It isn't consistent.

Lana shouting at Clark she can't believe she ever loved him was one of the low points. Who cares what she thinks, she's just a puppet these days. Even Tom Welling doesn't come off looking too special, only John Glover's Lionel retains a reality in his manner. We're supposed to accept that Fine's computer virus, which travelled to every system in all the world and switched off all the electricity causes global chaos in a matter of minutes. People are out fighting and looting with a snap of the fingers, it's bizarre! Then we get the final shot, pulling back from the Earth, and you see the lights blinking out across the globe, but surely that's already happened if it's so fast we can see it happening!

Clark, trapped in the Phantom Zone's glass window, spinning off into space isn't a bad visual, and there are moments to enjoy, such as a car smashing into the Daily Planet's basement and Clark shielding Chloe from the glass, catching the car, but these moments are very short and can't make up for the awfulness of so much of it - what happened to the driver of the car? As soon as he's stopped it, he and Chloe resume their conversation, not worried whether anyone saw him perform the feat. And they show visuals of violent uprisings from several cities, which are clearly real stock footage, then cut to Metropolis which looks so fake and small-scale in comparison.

I suppose it might have been worrying if this episode had bucked the trend and proved to be one of the best stories of the season, but I could have lived with that! It's best to remember what you're watching when you view this series, or you can forget how stupid, loud and pointless it can be, but when it's good you forget about these moments. Do I care about what happens next? Lex will rule the world, if only for a short period when Clark will find a way to get back out of the Zone and rescue him from himself. Maybe the other characters will go into the Zone, and... okay, so I can't really predict what will happen, but I'm sure it will be stupid. Will I watch Season 6? As it happens, yes, because I'm halfway through the entire series and it's occasionally quite good. Will I try and get the DVD as cheap as possible? Yes, because once it's been watched it's going on ebay.

I have to ask myself whether Season 5 has been worth watching and the answer is yes, certainly. It had a good run of quality at one point, and though that has dipped up and down, it remains, for the most part, an entertaining diversion, bright in looks, with some of the happiness and good feeling brought back into it. After Season 3, in which my expectations took a nosedive, and Season 4, which had some nice moments, 5 has proved to be a continuation of 4's good work, but also its bad.

**