Star Trek Into Darkness

cinema, Star Trek Into Darkness (2013) film

High expectations? No, not really, because I wanted to call 'Star Trek XI' a debacle, and yet on balance I liked it as a good film. At the same time, and still being intrigued by what they might follow on with, I was no longer concerned about this being the be-all and end-all of Trek for the future, but merely a passing stage. So for 'Star Trek Into Darkness' I rarely got too excited in the four year wait, and so I didn't go in with hopes and dreams hoping to be fulfilled (and I pity those that were 'blown away' by XI, as I'll call it from now on, and went in with galactically high visions to be met - it's a sequel, and generally, in this time of exceedingly bottom-line driven franchises, that means it's going to be more of the same), but if they were going to even match the tempo and exuberance of XI, they were going to have to come up with something special. Only what they thought of as something special, may not be my idea. Before all that, (and please be aware this is not to be read before seeing the film as the mystery is one of the good points), a little examination of the title…

It was stated by one of the writers that the colon in the film titles represented everything about Trek that people didn't like (forgetting 'Star Trek Nemesis,' the lowest ranking Trek film ever, didn't have one!). Clearly this is a huge responsibility to lay at the feet of a humble character of grammar (do they have feet?), like saying all the faults of the first film (sorry, eleventh - this all gets confusing!), were due to Keenser, Scotty's oyster-headed diminutive comedy sidekick. Now I know some may agree with that, but that's beside my point. My point is that somewhere down the line of all their money cannons firing publicity and the Prime Money-Making Directive at cinemas, this 'anti-colon' stance was not filtered down to all the cinemas because I went to see the film at my local Vue, and on the timetable outside, listing all the films, was 'Star Trek: Into Darkness.' Something didn't translate, obviously, because that colon represented everything that was wrong with 'Star Trek,' apparently, and yet here they are, colon-ing away with apparent disregard for the filmmakers' wishes! I had to smile. But then, at the start of the film, on the BBFC's own certification page, the film was titled 'Star Trek - Into Darkness.' So what, colons are out, but dashes are in? Where did the message get lost that this was going to be 'like Batman' with its 'The Dark Knight Rises' title (and no doubt, hopefully a billion dollars), and its statement of intent, a sentence, get colon-ed? And despite this oversight, I hear the film's done pretty well, so there was no need to worry about that colon after all, was there?

The fact that Star Trek was going 'Into Darkness,' was, I felt, underplayed. It was about time a 'Deep Space Nine' reference got its share of film time (not counting the shuttlecraft looking like Runabouts!), as it'd been the ninth film, (fittingly), since anything 'DS9'-related was referenced, unless you count Worf in the tenth film, but he was part of the 'TNG' cast, so I don't. If they were going to take something from the pinnacle of Trek's achievement, it had to be something like Section 31, the illicit, yet secretly sanctioned Starfleet undercover organisation that was revealed to be a kind of secret police, preserving us, or preparing us, for the nastiness of space with the dichotomy of abandoning the ethical codes of the Federation to ensure its survival. I was thrilled when Section 31 were mentioned as being behind the plot, whom Admiral Marcus was working for, or perhaps was head of, it isn't explained. Very little is explained with regard to the organisation, which is as it should be, but like the Romulan's physical appearance being known without question in XI, it's another detail that shouldn't have been known, and yet neither do we understand the coolness and horror of the organisation, that they were there from the founding of the Federation, hidden behind it all. I understand that with the new timeline, Starfleet's become more aggressive in its defensiveness, and no doubt 31 has been more proactive thanks to the shock of the Narada, Nero's futuristic Borg-enhanced mining/battle ship.

Saying all that, I never felt the film went into 'Darkness,' it seemed more like a convenient title plucked from the air than a true theme. The theme, as I understood it, was to be terrorism, with the mysterious John Harrison waging a war on Earth. But I never had the impression that he was responsible for that much devastation - he set up Mickey from 'Dr. Who' (sorry, but he looks the same, and doesn't have that much to say, just like his old character!), to blow up an archive, and then he attacked the assembled members of– was it The Daystrom Institute, or just 'Daystrom' in this universe (made me think of the 'Voyager' episode 'Alliances'!), and then goes to Qo'noS (or Kronos as they spell it - I'm not nitpicking, in fact I think it might have been spelt both ways in the past), for… I didn't get the reason for that, but anyway, he eventually slams a massive starship (the USS Vengeance), into San Francisco, but that was after the terrorism, so I never got how 'bad' he was. Plus, he couldn't be seen to be irredeemably evil or Kirk and crew wouldn't have been able to work with him as an ally. So they defanged him a little to fit into their plans, but wouldn't it have been better if they'd been forced to work with him while also despising him, barely able to contain their feelings? That's another thing, I never really felt for the characters, things seemed flat all too often. On a kinder, more appreciative note, I will give them the praise for being more sober, less wackycrazyzany as they were in XI, though even this had a backlash.

Importantly, and one of the best things about this new film is that they clearly listened to criticisms of the previous film: questions were asked, complaints levelled, and many of them were answered, many responded to, which pleased me no end. One of the major problems was with Kirk, who had been a cocky, irresponsible, womaniser, who never took anything seriously and got bumped up to Captain because… well… the older people had been killed off by a disease like in 'Miri'? Nope. They all left to go to the 'Prime' universe because they were getting headaches from all the lens flares? No, sir: The fleet was away in another system. So far away that Starfleet had to make do with an Academy-full of cadets, and Pike liked Kirk's Dad and wanted his son to grow up. Yes, none of it made much sense, but this film attempts to undo some of the damage, and succeeds by having Pike lecture Kirk on his attitude and behaviour (though it doesn't stop him being a ridiculously stereotyped lecher, that the real Kirk never was), demote him, and give him some motivation to become a responsible leader of his young crew, which I was all heartily in agreement with (even if it was Pike's fault in the first place for allowing Kirk to be Captain too soon!). Besides Pike, there are still barely any older people in evidence (maybe everyone looks young in the future, or is this further evidence of 'Logan's Run' to come?), but there is a robot man on the bridge. What was that all about?

Lens flares already being mentioned, I will say that they were used far less, to the extent that they were almost missed - it made things less shiny, but it's not a complaint, it just means that we can't make jokes about them any more! The characters were oddly turned about in my mind (not in a 'Turnabout Intruder' way), but because Kirk was being a serious Captain, and becoming the Kirk we want, I liked him more. The same for Spock, because he was more logical and Spock-ish (except for the inexplicable crying and despairingly anguished rage-shout, but we'll get to that, and how Kirk and Spock aren't such good friends that I could believe in that moment), even Uhura wasn't as intrusive as in the first film, helped by the plot point that she's not talking to boyfriend Spock after he was willing to die in the volcano at the start, which means there are fewer scenes where she's going gooey over him - I was delighted that the awful love story was interfered with, though the sub-plot of Spock learning from Uhura and Kirk what it is to be a true friend, and sacrifice that, and experience emotional loss or attachment, and then he does 'get it' at the end, was weak. It was messy.

I was underwhelmed by the opening, the 'teaser' if you like. It was like 'Mission: Impossible' where we see the team working together on something unrelated to the real story, just the joy of the group in action at what they do. Only I'm not attached to these characters because they don't have a quarter of the charm of the original actors, and I've only spent about four hours in their company, instead of seventy-nine episodes and six or seven films. The opening was a response to the criticism that there weren't enough alien planets in XI, so they gave us one that looked like it was right out of wackycrazyzany 'Dr. Who,' with yellow land and red plants, and natives right out of 'Stargate SG-1' (can't remember the episode name, but they were there). In fairness this was the wackiestcraziestzaniest the film became, as far as I can recall, which is why I used the word sober to describe the overall style. They wanted to get some lighthearted stuff out the way before all the 'Darkness' came, but the characters were flat and unappealing, which was very different from the rampant, joyous, flagrant disregard for 'Old Trek' and its supposedly 'boring talky dullness' that was at the heart of XI, which made watching it such a gut-wrench because on the one side it was trampling previous Trek in the dust, but on the other it was vibrantly alive and kicking, like a giant baby that had been birthed in space, wildly thrashing around and causing a spectacle that was as colourful and in-your-face as it was fast and frenzied.

This time there was never anything of the immediate punch of the opening to XI, where Kirk's Dad sacrifices himself for his ship, as baby Kirk is born in the midst of battle, like some tragic Greek legend. They tried to recreate some of the impact with Pike's early demise, but it didn't have the same power because it was essentially a meaningless death - Kirk (who in this universe is the guy Pike mentors, rather than Spock, and so has more loyalty and connection than the Vulcan), takes it badly, but later in the film he's comfortable working alongside the man that killed Pike - it's like he's more Vulcan than Spock! I didn't really feel anything, and I was too busy wondering if Spock was nabbing Pike's katra to place inside another body or maybe a robot (that was what that robot guy could have been for!). As Pike was shot I was thinking it was all part of an ongoing plan to turn him into the scarred, blinky-light, wheelchair-bound Pike of the real universe, so I wasn't worried. And then he dies, Spock mind-melding with him, seemingly without permission, and definitely without any of the preamble and mysticism such an act used to entail, which lessens its dramatic impact. It wasn't even to take away Pike's pain or ease his passing, it was Spock's scientific interest in getting a good feel for what emotions someone experiences as they die, which is a bit distasteful! But Vulcans aren't without emotion, their whole mystery is in keeping those feelings under control, not in being unable to understand emotions!

Back to things that were an improvement on XI, though: Scotty was more like Scotty, not the wackycrazy… you get the idea, from XI. He's given a scene where he shows real principles, resigning his commission because he feels the safety of the ship is compromised as he's not allowed to examine the Section 31 torpedoes brought aboard for the mission to stop John Harrison. I was expecting Kirk to refuse, but when he'd unexpectedly accepted the resignation, I was expecting Scotty to give in comically, or even Keenser to sign for them, so I was pleased with that turn of events, even if it meant Mr. Scott was once again abandoned and left to his own devices, except this time that means he gets to be a bit of a spy, sneaking aboard the Vengeance to help disable her, reminiscent of 'Star Trek III' and his sabotage of the Excelsior. Talking of which, it was good to see Sulu's command career taking shape in a small way even in this universe, with him being given the Captain's chair, relishing it and living up to the experience, as a tie to the future that he goes on to be one himself (a captain, not a chair), even if he never actually did anything while he was there: go on, sit in the chair, okay, aaaand… stop. That's it, you've had your fun now.

I'd have to say that all the other characters were like cameos in Kirk and Spock's story, Chekov not even a character in my view - one problem of XI was how everyone ended up in the right place regardless of story logic or earning the right, and in this film it was Chekov who continued this otherwise corrected strain of thought, becoming Chief Engineer when Scotty leaves. But it's okay, because he'd been shadowing Scotty for a bit. WHAT?! To put a teenager in charge was as ridiculous as the shenanigans of Merry-Go-Captain's-Chair in XI. You just don't promote a child to Chief Engineer of your starship, even if he is a genius (and his genius has so far been mainly spoken of rather than experienced), especially as there's a chain of command, with other engineers under Scotty who would replace him long before the ship's Navigator did! But compared with XI there were very few of these stupidities to contend with.

Other loose ends of annoying choices from the previous film were neatly dealt with, such as Scotty's transwarp beaming capability - we're told that Starfleet confiscated his equations. Does that mean they were too long to be remembered, and even if Scott couldn't recall them wouldn't Spock be able to get them out of him with a meld? Not that the crew would go against Starfleet regs for no reason, but I did like that this save-all tech was placed off limits. I'll ignore the fact that Harrison can use a portable version of it, and move on. Another thing that was explained was that Old Spock made a vow not to reveal details about the true time period that he came from so as not to alter this one, but I liked that he made one exception for this case, speaking of a big sacrifice that was needed to defeat the enemy, even if he doesn't say what. One thing that rankled a bit was the idea that people would still be driving around on roads in, basically, cars. Yes, we've seen vehicles before (in 'Nemesis' Picard drives an off-roader around and that had actual wheels!), but one reason why Trek generally avoids getting into the details of Earth is that they'd have to deal with things like this. Why would people drive if they can transport in seconds? We know of the prevalence of Transporters from stories people like Ben Sisko have told - when he first joined the Academy, he used to beam home for dinner, and yet we see a planet that looks very crowded and is full of ugly little cars going around ugly little roads, and it's all a bit too much to accept.

One of the big mistakes of the ending to XI was the callous way Nero was dispatched, which is now mirrored in the opposite at the end of this film when Kirk makes his anti-revenge speech (as well as revealing that the famous 'To boldly go…' monologue has become known as the Captain's Oath), one of the most important things in turning this behemoth around a little more towards Roddenberry's idealism that had been snubbed in XI. I liked the militarism versus exploration that was a minor theme running through the film, Scotty pointing it out, and Kirk mentioning it in his speech, something which is at the heart of Admiral Marcus' motivation in trying to take over the Federation by force. While it was good to meet Carol Marcus' Father, as long as it had been known that Peter Weller was going to be in the film I was hoping there'd be some kind of connection with his 'Enterprise' villain, either a clone of Paxton or a direct descendant. I didn't mind him being the villain, but I very early on realised where this was going: I've seen 'Star Trek: Insurrection' before! That's what I felt, though, that the Admiral and Harrison were like Admiral Dougherty and Ru'afo in the ninth film. That Admiral was also doing something dastardly for the good of the Federation, while his accomplice had an ulterior motive.

Marcus' villainy and connection to Section 31 weren't the only obvious story points I saw coming: I guessed the torpedoes held bodies even before they were being opened, partly because they were so bulky, and partly because of a misconception over Harrison's motive - I thought he surrendered to Kirk because the torpedoes would decimate a part of Qo'noS (perhaps containing his followers, or that he was defending something in Klingon culture), and that in fact there were only a few torpedoes, not the seventy-two that were claimed, which I assumed was a bluff. It was after this that I realised the importance of the tubes, not merely a weapon created by Section 31, but a possible invasion force that could take over the Enterprise, though it never happened. The other big honker was Kirk's death. Ugh. If you're going to copy the ending to a film, go for it, don't ape it, while being obvious that you're not going to kill off your main character! The whole point of this new universe was that there would be real jeopardy for the main cast because we don't know their future, yet we know they aren't going to be killed off even in this timeline because they want them to make more films (and money!). So one of the biggest rationales for a new timeline has been dispensed with!

I saw it coming ages before McCoy did, that Khan's blood would be able to cure Kirk, just as it cured Mickey's daughter at the beginning, so that whole scene with Spock losing emotional control and recreating Shatner's scream of 'Khaaaaaaaan!' was no more than a parody of a great moment in a great Trek film, something this was not. They didn't even allow Pine's film-star looks to be tarnished with the radiation, as opposed to 'Star Trek II' when Spock really looked physically ravaged. It was an empty end, ripping off a great finale and doing it badly and obviously. I must admit, I had the merest whiff of a thought that Spock might die in this film if it was to feature Khan, but I didn't genuinely believe it, even when they had a few pointers in dialogue about death and sacrifice, like in 'The Dark Knight Rises' people speak as if it might be the last time they will talk to Batman, a few times, and aping the beginning of 'Star Trek II' where it looks like Spock might die/be dead. But all was emptiness.

Well, the cat's out of the bag, Harrison's identity was Khan. It's impressive that they managed to keep his name secret in the modern age of every detail in a film being known the world over before it's even released, and it gave the film a good sense of mystery that sucked me in and helped me warm to the middle part of the film, but I was still hoping throughout that Harrison would turn out to actually be one of Khan's genetic supermen, pretending to be his great leader for the purposes of eventually being able to revive a CGI Ricardo Montalban, lying in stasis waiting for the right day when technology was advanced enough (ours, in terms of CGI, not theirs!), who might prove to be an even greater challenge in the next film (which will fortunately not now be titled 'Star Trek XIII: The Search For Kirk'!), and would explain why this Khan looks and sounds absolutely nothing like the real Khan we know and hate. The only similarity was the black hair, and it's a tall order to even try to equal what is likely the best-loved film villain of the Trek canon: they shouldn't have tried! They need to be making their own stories, not relying on plot points of the past, that's the reason they wanted a new timeline, so they weren't bound by canon, but what do they do? Pick up the same old pieces and essentially tell the same story, inferior in both drama and suspense.

I didn't hate Benedict Cumberbatch, and indeed, he was suitably menacing, his rich, velvety voice adding gravity to all the high-pitched squeaking of this younger crew. In fact, I wish he'd been the one to take the Spock role as his voice is closer to the gravelly timbre of Nimoy than Quinto's is. I liked when Kirk used all his energy pummelling his enemy, punching and thumping until he's tired, while Harrison just lets him, staring back, perplexed. It's one of the great moments of the film, but I can't say the same about the scenes that preceded it: after a lacklustre opening I was excited to be going to Qo'noS, and to be seeing Klingons. Knowing the Klingon connection with Khan's people as discovered in 'Enterprise' (they're basically the reason for the ridge/non-ridge situation in Klingon history), I knew that they were to be featured after ending up in deleted scenes in XI, and that this time we'd see underneath the helmets. So when they were built up as fearsome beings, murdering torturers that Uhura bravely goes out to meet and does a Hoshi Sato, talking to them in their own language (love subtitles of alien languages!), it was something I'd been looking forward to. But then all we see is a brief shot of one without his helmet, displaying a less detailed forehead and lots of face jewellery, and then BIF! BANG! POW! we're plunged into a close-fought battle which is as impossible to follow as if you were actually being pummelled by a Klingon yourself.

The shaky-cam style of presenting action, particularly hand-to-hand fighting, has long been a sore point with me, and after so many wonderfully choreographed Klingon fight scenes in previous Treks, this could have been spectacular. Instead, it's just a headache, a blur of gunshots (I can't call them phaser blasts, they don't have any of the style, grace or poise), punches and shouting. This may be what it's like to be in the midst of a fight with a herd of Klingons, but I want to be able to see their incredible blade-fighting skills, and their much-vaunted capabilities. I could make out bladed weapons, though not specifically bat'leths, and the whole sequence disappointed, from the ship chase in that mini-Millennium Falcon (fly sideways, just like in 'Star Wars' or escaping the Dyson Sphere on 'TNG'!), with Klingon ships that had none of the beauty of design that launched a thousand imaginations thanks to 'Star Trek III,' and had very little in common with Klingon style. And the fact is that after this, the Klingons aren't in it again, so it's over in one blow. I knew Harrison was going to be taking on Klingons and I was expecting it to make him look cool, but all we see is motion blur and flashes - the Augments trilogy did it better in 'Enterprise,' and that was a TV series, a decade ago!

I can report that the engineering section was much improved, with a design that looked much more like the one from 'The Motion Picture' with white walls and multiple levels, even if they still had a few moments inside a brewery! I found the bridge to be messy, you never get a sense of place and focus there, or can imagine the main characters all sat round in the family that we expect from a Trek bridge crew. I'm over the bulging, neon version of the Enterprise this time, and I noted with pleasure that we do get to see a little of the rubber band effect in warping this time, though I wasn't so keen on the shaky lines of space dust left in their wake. Odd that they would choose to make going to warp look less sleek in comparison with previous Treks. There were plenty of fun references for the observant viewers (and listeners), with the 'Mudd' incident (where they confiscated the round shuttle from), being one such bone, though as I understand it, it isn't in fact a reference to old Harry, but to what may have been his daughter in one of the comics that have been released as 'Star Trek Ongoing.' If you didn't know that though, you can still believe it was Harry Mudd they were talking about! Christine Chapel was another name thrown out there, but sadly it seems in this timeline she's left the Enterprise to be a nurse far away from the lecherous Kirk, so there's none of the Chapel/Uhura rivalry I was anticipating, a soapy option that at least had some basis in fact from the series (in terms of Chapel holding a candle for Spock).

I'd have liked them to mention Jupiter Station since they were in the vicinity, maybe the USS Vengeance facility could have been that famed location. But my favourite of all the references were the beautiful models displayed on Marcus' desk, charting the progress of human space travel, and featuring among them what looked like the Enterprise, the Kelvin, and most excitingly, the Enterprise NX-01. One of my biggest hopes for this current series is that an 'Enterprise' character (most likely either an elderly Archer or T'Pol), could make an appearance and join those two parts together, since that series happened the same for this universe as the real one, the time-changing incident occurring well after it had ended. But it didn't happen this time, sadly. We did get Old Spock there to share his wisdom (something which was spoiled by someone before I saw the film, though it wasn't a major revelation) - I knew he'd visited the set during filming, but they played it down, although I suspected they might do a short cameo. When the Vulcan haircut first appeared I thought it was Sarek because I was expecting him, for some reason (there still needs to be a scene where younger Sarek meets his ancient son!). I didn't particularly want Nimoy to pop up in a brief cameo because he ended XI so well that I didn't need to see him again unless it was equally as substantial.

It will be a shame if that's Nimoy's final appearance as Spock, though if they get a move on with the next film it would be good to find out what's happening on New Vulcan and how Old Spock has helped his people. I was always hoping that a different old cast member could be sucked into this universe for each film, but this was clearly the 'First Contact' of the Abramsverse to XI's 'Generations' in that we'd had the connection to the previous generation and now they were standing alone. So no new titbits about the 'Prime' timeline, or links to it, except that Khan's full name, Khan Noonien Singh, was spoken by Old Spock, something I was glad for, because I was worried, with the recasting in a different race that it might mean they were softening the character's heritage so that in some way he wouldn't 'offend' people of that race. In fact it sounds like the opposite happened with people complaining that they should have stuck to Khan's original race (though they still kept quiet about him being a Sikh).

There were far fewer overt problems with the story and characters this time, perhaps because they had plenty of time (too much?), to refine the script and story, and with so many complaining words about the other film to guide them. But even so, there's a rhyme they say about warp drive, 'faster than light, no left or right,' which was painfully messed with in the Vengeance's attack in mid-warp. Now I don't think it should be possible to fire at something when at warp because you're already going many times the speed of light, and weapons aren't going to be quicker than that, not having warp engines on them, but far more problematic is that the Enterprise is shot and actually spins around, mid-warp flight and yet somehow isn't ripped apart by the force! And as for the people that get sucked out of the ship, they would be instantly vaporised, surely? It also appears that in space no one can feel you fall. Okay, so there's either artificial gravity and you stay on deck, or the gravity's knocked out and you float around, so it doesn't appear to make sense that people can be hanging from things as the ship barrel rolls into oblivion! I understand that the ship is falling into the Earth's atmosphere, but even so, I'd feel very charitable to use that as an excuse.

The USS Vengeance herself, aside from the unlikely name (we've had worse, I'm sure), was a good-looking ship, though it did evoke thoughts of the Enterprise-E. I only wish we'd got to see a bit more of her - we do get a massive docking bay which Kirk and Harrison space-jump into, and the bridge was dark and beautiful, but the camera was leaping around so much we didn't get a really good look at the sets. It appeared so advanced as almost to be from the future, a notion boosted by the uniforms Marcus and his crew wore which brought to mind something like the time agents wore. I was even looking at Carol Marcus' earrings and wondering if that was meant to look like a vertical version of the horizontal chevron insignia inside an oval that has also been the sign of 29th Century Starfleet (the logo used by Chronowerx), but it's entirely possible I'm reading too much into it, just as I did with the look of the Kelvin's uniforms, which appeared similar to the futuristic ones of 'All Good Things…'! I'd seen a clip of the Vengeance crashing into buildings so I was looking forward to them topping the incredible saucer crash-landing in 'Generations,' but I didn't feel any of the connection or concern I did in that older film, nor was I that impressed by the spectacle of it all in this case, mainly because it threatens faceless people that we're not given a reason to care about: mere spectacle.

There were other things I liked, such as the cool tech Kirk uses to view images from the terrorist attack, zooming in and around the image three-dimensionally on a 2D screen, like viewing a mini-holodeck. It was good to have the occasional throwback to XI, such as Pike talking about Kirk's bar fight, or the space jump Kirk can't be bothered to explain to Harrison before they take off for theirs. Actually, that bit was quite good, reminding me of Data making the leap in 'Nemesis,' and I liked the 'Smallville'-ian (as in Lex and Clark as friends), way that Khan saved Kirk in space, though again, the infiltration of the Vengeance could have been so exciting, and didn't get a reaction out of me. The skull-crushing, though implied, was maybe a step too far (though again reminiscent of the way Dougherty was offed by his evil puppet in 'Insurrection'), and I was also surprised at the amount of swearing for a 'Star Trek' film. Just as I struggled to spot older crewmembers, there didn't seem to be many people with different accents (I suppose the African lady that takes Chekov's place counted - I half wondered if she was going to be a Deltan since her hair was so short!). It would have been nice to hear a new main theme for this film, just as they used to do for each of the previous films, and I have the feeling Giacchino is either lacking confidence, or too lazy to create a properly individual theme, just as with 'Mission: Impossible III' and 'Ghost Protocol.' It's a good theme, but it should have stayed with XI.

A few final points: I liked that future London was seen, I think, for the first time in Trek, though I knew about it in advance. It was also good to have 'Cupcake' man from XI back, though I wasn't completely sure it was him until viewing the credits - you'd have to know a little backstory from the comics to realise his name is actually Hendorff and that he and Kirk had a reconciliation after their bad start, but his inclusion was so brief and didn't explain any of this. More care with the details of this world would be appreciated, without us having to keep track of 'non-canon' media to understand things like that. One security guy I recognised for sure was the big, burly guy, part of Harrison's guard party who also gets a line - the actor played a bodyguard of the bad guy in 'Mission: Impossible III.' Weirdly, Chris Hemsworth was in the credits as George Kirk, as was Jennifer Morrison as Winona Kirk, but neither was in the film, so I didn't understand that at all, unless they were in deleted scenes! Someone I was expecting to see, but didn't, was Christopher Judge who I thought was supposed to be playing a Klingon, but he's not credited. A shame because I could imagine him making a great Klingon - get that man on a new Trek TV series as one! When we did go to the Klingon homeworld I wasn't sure if that half-exploded moon was supposed to be Praxis, as if the Klingons had already overdone their war production and 'Star Trek VI' had come early, or whether it was just a visual thing for people like me to wonder at?

A couple of things done with the technology were noteworthy - it was only a small thing, but I don't think we've ever seen someone talk on their communicator while holding it in their mouth before! Also, the mechanically released seat belts looked good, even if I never like seat belts in Trek, and was relieved that the scene in which a similar moment occurs in 'Star Trek Nemesis' ended up deleted. Still, when there's major problems with the artificial gravity, seeing a seat belt or two wasn't going to make me care in the slightest! Clothing, on the other hand, was something that was way overdone on this film. With the bigger budgets of the film series we always got more uniforms, but in this they have something like ten different costumes, or more, and that's no exaggeration! It was ridiculous that they needed that much variety of different clothing, and it seemed like just an attempt to get more money onscreen. Some were better than others - I saw a picture of Kirk and Bones' wetsuits before I went to the film, and I was struck by the similarity to the EVA suits of 'The Original Series,' though when it came down to the actual film, things flashed by so quick it was like a fashion show where the models dash in and out, so there was no time to really take in the many costume changes! I really didn't like the dull, military uniforms with caps, which looked far too much like 1970s 'Star Wars.'

So how do I feel about the film, on the whole? I wasn't upset, irritated or bored, as so many films leave me these days, and there's still something of a minor thrill to see the words 'Class M Planet,' or hear the word 'Klingon' on a cinema screen, but I was underwhelmed with the experience. There are plenty of little nitpicks I could level at the film - Spock's continued assertions that Vulcans can't lie (wait a minute… that's a lie!), the fact that Khan's history is glossed over with no mention of the Botany Bay, or of his reign taking place in the 1990s (probably for the best, as I'm not sure how a modern audience would accept that particular revelation!), and in some cases, as I've gone through, things made more sense this time - I believed in Starfleet going out proactively exploring more, due to the threats they've been awakened to in the timeline change, thus finding Khan early.

At the same time there were things I realised I'd wanted, such as news of New Vulcan. Nurse Chapel now won't be part of things, perhaps in honour of Majel Barrett-Roddenberry's legacy as being the most prolific part of Trek, where all the other characters have been recast, but it seems Janice Rand won't either, with the development of Carol Marcus joining the crew for their five-year mission. They obviously needed another female role, but it's still surprising she should be chosen over the other two familiar names. It also sets up the series a bit too pat, with Kirk, Spock and Uhura the modern triumvirate where it used to feature Bones - now there are four of the young people so they can go on double dates! See what I mean? It's all still playing up to the youthful soapiness, while these actors are ageing with so many years between films! Will war with the Klingons be the story of the next film? And are we supposed to be excited that they finally got to go off on their five-year mission? Apparently, from the reactions of some characters, this had never been done before, another alteration to the timeline, since originally the Enterprise had gone on a couple under Pike, and it was a common thing. It seems likely this mission will play out in the comics, but they could still be planning to set the next film during it.

Trouble is, they leave it in the same place as they left the last film: the crew's assembled and they go off into space. The difference is that on that occasion I was curious as to what would follow, and now I'm… less so. I like that they were more restrained this time, but they also lost vitality. That was true of the ending, too, which lost me amid its boxing match atop a moving transport vehicle. It was good that Spock got to be a match for Harrison, but it was never tense, it was just a piece of action that was occurring. There's a reason 'Star Trek II' never degenerated into a face to face battle at the end, and this shows why, undoing the good feelings I'd felt towards it in the middle of the film with an obvious and dull conclusion of explosions and punching. But I take comfort from the perspective of several years: this is no longer the only future for 'Star Trek,' as it seemed when XI came out, so I wasn't concerned this time, I just left my brain at home. I'm glad I wasn't one of those people pinning all my hopes on this film for four years, and getting sucked into the hype and excitement. It's too long to wait for something satisfying, when this is really just a snack, albeit new, between stints of watching old Trek.

On balance, I was underwhelmed by the opening and disenchanted with the ending, the mystery in the middle was what sustained me, but unlike XI, I couldn't call this a good film, which means I'm rating this as the worst Trek film so far. That indictment sounds harsher than it actually is, it's merely that it failed to live up to the good things of XI, while still having some of the problems. I've always rated the films as at least being 'good' (even 'The Motion Picture,' 'Voyage Home' and 'Nemesis'!), but this just didn't have enough in it to satisfy even that measure - I still don't identify with the new versions of the characters, I still watch it in spite of them, they haven't become much-loved, but have remained two-dimensional. There will be another film, and then maybe we'll get back to real Trek, that's what I hope anyway. After the closing credits at the cinema, the 'Star Wars' theme inexplicably played us out - it was really odd at first, but then I saw that it was actually very appropriate, summing it all up, really. This is practically another Wars film, and since we're going to be getting more Wars films, the first from JJ Abrams himself, is there even a place for these kinds of Trek films any more? Only JJ has the answer.

**

Vendetta

DVD, Starsky & Hutch S2 (Vendetta)

The most important thing I got from this episode is that there's more continuity to the series than I realised: this is Hutch's girlfriend, Abigail Crabtree's, fourth (and final), appearance on the series, her first this season. Back when I was going through Season 1 I was surprised to find the character reappear, and I'd forgotten about her until I heard in this episode that the 'blonde cop's blonde girlfriend' was called Abby. I wasn't sure if it really was the same character or actor, but it definitively states in the credits, the name 'Abigail Crabtree' played by 'Ann Foster,' which was fun to realise. Of course, they weren't going to let Hutch have that stable a life, so she was going to leave, but I thought she was going to die, the tension generated in the episode so strong (and a fate that would befall Starsky's girl later in the season).

You could say Hutch was better off since she wasn't committed enough to stick with Hutch after her realisation of the fear of death, but equally, they weren't married, so she had the option to reevaluate her life and that meant taking a safer route. For Hutch it was a blow to find his dangerous lifestyle the cause of a breakup, but his good friend Starsky is there to keep him sane. The end scene was, on first thought, out of touch with the series - they were playing the usual jolly outro music, but what was happening didn't fit that mood. Soul plays it very seriously in what could have been intended as a joke on him, but he's right, this is a big thing to happen to his character, despite that continuity wasn't very important in those days. Glaser also doesn't overdo the comedy nature of what he's given, played more as an attempt to distract his partner than laughing at Hutch's misfortune, which he wouldn't do at this deep a level. But still, if the music had reflected the deeper nature of what the characters were feeling, it would have worked a lot better.

We're seven episodes in, and it's only now that we get an episode that harks back to the 'negative' impression of the city, all the others having been upbeat, opulent or comedic. This is the first that takes a look under the lid of the downtrodden parts of city life, the tramps and those running from the law, living in the squalid apartments of Hotel Bremen, frequenting shady car parks and doing their dirty work in the darkness of night. There's also an early indication of the horror genre that would become more overt in other episodes. This had begun in Season 1 with episodes like 'Pariah,' where that clanking bell and use of percussion had first given us a disturbing mood, continued in 'A Coffin For Starsky,' though in these cases it was only a hint of the sub-genre to come. This episode doesn't really go much further into it, continuing 'The Las Vegas Strangler' and the mask at the beginning of 'Murder At Sea' in terms of bringing in unsettling and disturbing elements without it truly being a 'horror episode.' It's interesting to note that Season 1 was much more down to earth and realistic, where Season 2 has allowed bigger stories to be told, more comedy and action, and a general feeling of being more confident in itself, so the fact that negativity has taken this long to be explored says something about those different takes on tone between the two seasons.

The horror aspects arrive quickly when we have a shocking view of a young man burst out from behind a curtain, facing the camera, and in slow motion and with extreme rage, swing his bat at what will be the head of a seemingly innocent other young man. This scene doesn't quite tally with the later report of Tommy Marlowe attacking his victims without any sign of emotion as if he was just flipping hamburgers or some other mundane job, as Eckworth claims. It might have been more scary if he had shown all that violence in the scene, and yet his face had been devoid of all emotion, but maybe the coaching of the actor in how he was supposed to be reacting was lost somewhere along the line? He was certainly a good actor, the character being so repugnant thanks to his extreme attacks and attempted rape of Abby, that it's surprising that we can feel any sympathy for him at all by the end. And yet, thanks to Hutch's reaction to the pathetic figure who ends up curled in a foetal position on his bed, we do see the full result of a messed up young man's life, and it is Arty Solkin, his 'handler,' you might say, who draws most of the disgust, ultimately.

Hutch had every reason to burst into Tommy's room and administer the beating of his life, even one-handed you could see the righteous anger all over him - not only had this enemy cost him physical pain in booby-trapping Hutch's car, he'd done worse to his girlfriend. But Hutch is still a police detective and he has a lot of self-control, and though he rushed in and started flinging the guy around, expecting such brutal attacks to be perpetrated by an insanely ferocious opponent, he quickly saw him for what he was: a lost child, disturbed and fallen under the wing of an evil man, and from that moment he stopped himself and held back from whatever revenge he might have wanted. I'm sure he would always have held back - we've seen numerous times where he could have shot someone, but takes them into custody and allows the law to deal with them instead. Even more here he could have been justified in roughing the guy up. Instead, he resigns himself to pity.

Tommy is a well-drawn character, we get to hear of his past, that he's wanted for the murder of his entire family, that he must have been an intelligent person at one time since he was a graduate, and that somewhere his life turned a corner. He's described as being crazy; just his presence made one of Arty's lads leave the very next day, and we see he has mental problems from the way he spends his days staring up at the lightbulb in his room, until he's practically blind. He's attached to Arty as a source of safety, I think, but he doesn't like him, because when Arty comes in at one point and says something like he must be happy to see him, Tommy doesn't say anything, and looks cowed. The way we first see him lying on the bed, he even looks violent in repose, as if he's been captured mid-action, hair splayed out on the pillow beneath, face a mask of vacancy.

Solkin, on the other hand, has none of the drama about him. In only a couple of pop culture references, (the other being Starsky's obsession with baseball), he's described as Fagin, and his boys as Artful Dodgers, which immediately gives us the impression of who and what he is: a leader of youngsters who do his dirty work for him, a man living in the gutter, which is why he takes so ill to Hutch calling him scum. Usually when criminals and lowlifes are insulted in this way they don't really react, not caring what a cop thinks of them, but you get the impression Arty thinks quite highly of himself - the way he dresses with a smart bell-hop kind of burgundy jacket, his two-tone shoes and the trouble he takes to dye and comb his hair. He aspires to a better life, clearly, though takes orders from others, which is where he gets his ill-gotten employment. He's the real villain behind Tommy, using the younger man's confusion, perhaps guilt, certainly mental illness, for his own benefit, like the others we don't see, 'taking care' of them they think.

His easy anger at Hutch shows an impotent and unbalanced persona - he surely knows he's a small fry in the pond, and when he's sees an opportunity to indulge his resentment, Hutch is the one to feel it. It comes from S&H playing the hard cop, good cop routine, with Starsky taking a more tactful, understanding persona, while Hutch doesn't have to hide his contempt. Even if he'd suspected Arty would dare take him on, I'm sure he wouldn't have hesitated to show his attitude - he's not the type to be afraid, even when shocked to find a dead rat in his fridge, then a brick through his window, he's not going to cower inside, but charge out and give chase. The villains being interesting (another pair), helps make the episode stand above the average, as does M. Emmet Walsh's addition in his first role on the series, as a former baseball player that Starsky remembers from his childhood, whose legs are broken by Tommy.

He plays it very well, inviting a lot of sympathy for Eckworth, even though he's too scared to name Arty in the police lineup. He's touched that Starsky remembers his baseball days, and even when he's evading S&H's attempts to get him to name the man behind the attack on him, he does it in a philosophical way; that it says something about us that in giving to beggars we don't look them in the face - we might see a human being if we did that. He's certainly very far from the class of wacky characters we sometimes get (though I think he'd return as one of those when he came back as a gambler, I believe), and raises the quality of the episode. There really aren't any eccentrics at all, unless you count the police officer conducting the criminal lineup, whose relaxed attitude and patter was fun to watch, as simple a scene as it was. If he was the 'Police Clerk' in the credits (he's only named as Mike in dialogue), he would be Officer Taft, as whoever was the Clerk was the same actor (Frank Leo), as Taft in Season 1's 'Pariah.'

Being of the pessimistic side of the series, there aren't many of the usual little touches to tick off. There were some good lines, my favourite being Hutch's description of one attack as "a cash and carry tap on the legs," and enjoyment, as ever, from S&H's teasing, such as when, after Hutch's ordeal at his home (Venice Place again), he suggests to the unwitting Starsky that he might like some food from the fridge, only for his partner to find the rat. He then retorts about Hutch's eating habits having changed, Hutch says something's wrong, and Starsky suggests it's the lack of ketchup! There's also the old rivalry about their respective cars, with Starsky criticising Hutch's battered old motor, and Hutch getting back about Starsky driving a white-striped tomato that needs tuning up every time it goes round the block, or something to that effect. It makes the trauma of Hutch's hand injury from the explosive in the boot even more distressing when they've just been talking so lightheartedly, and is the most shocking moment of the episode.

Captain Dobey gets to display the concern for his men that we haven't seen yet this season with Dobey being mainly relegated to a smaller role than before, this time even getting to leave his office and visit Hutch's place after Abby's been attacked. He also puts things in perspective for S&H when Hutch notes that there are so many weirdoes that hate him after his six years on the force, it's difficult to narrow it down, Dobey rejoining  with 'wait until you get to twenty-six years!' There's also a reminder of Dobey's love of food when Hutch, being the healthy one, refuses Starsky's offer of going out for a burger, to which Starsky responds asking how Dobey likes eating alone. He replies that it's all the same to him! Huggy doesn't have a whole lot of exposure, appearing in a restaurant to give them a couple of tips, and provoking greed in Starsky when he sees the dessert Hug's ordered.

The only stunt double work I noticed was when we see S&H drive up to the outside of buildings (both cars get used this time), and go in, so it must have been second unit stuff that they didn't bother having the actors do. It's mostly not that noticeable, but if you look closely, it is. And I tend to look closely! Which is why I saw that the hospital Eckworth's in is actually called 'Midtown Memorial Hospital.' Either it's another branch or location for Memorial, or it's supposed to be the same place. If so it's a very different view compared with the usual we see, this building I had the impression was smaller and there's a large outdoor area with long green lawns, a location that they'd use again in future episodes. Hutch shows some discomfort with the idea that someone has access through his front door, but there's an episode where he keeps the key over the mantel! At least I think it's him, it could be Starsky, and I'm pretty sure it's a later season.

I never buy Tommy's incredibly suspicious movements as he leaves the scene of Eckworth's attack - when he sees the passersby he tries to hide the bat at his side, then does a swift arc round to join Arty. Then again, the couple are engaged in conversation, so they weren't paying much attention. S&H's clothing had a strange fascination in this episode, so bizarre to see such outfits, primarily the yellow and green tracksuit Hutch sports, and even more, Starsky's denim shorts, long, white socks and shirt open to expose his hairy chest! I'm surprised they didn't parody these outfits in the comedy film, as they were much odder than the leather jacket or cable-knit sweater! One thing I wanted to know was what the word on Starsky's T-shirt could be later in the episode - you can make out the letters 'MAS' in the middle, so it could be 'SMASH,' but it looked like the M.A.S.K. logo lettering (though that was something from the next decade).

This isn't as thrilling as the previous episode, nor is it as action-packed as most we've seen this season, but with strong villains and the shock value of some of the directorial decisions, it's at the same level of Season 2 which has been consistently good so far. While the strikes are upsetting and horrific in their intent, it's all implied violence, the only actual onscreen actions we see coming from Hutch as he manhandles Arty, and then Tommy, so I think that was all handled well, leaving the imagination to do the work, but still giving us an opponent worthy of S&H's attention, a real danger to society, kept on a lead by a worse villain. There's genuine tension in the lead-up to Abby being attacked, knowing their plans to harm her, so that by the time Tommy walks coldly up the stairs in dark glasses at night, like a Terminator coming for its target, you feel her terror on opening the door - it's an another example being in comfort and safety, oblivious to the danger around the next corner, like when Hutch damages his hand in the explosion on his car. So it succeeds in creating a story, handling the characters, and making us think, after which you can't ask for much more from an episode.

***

Cure

DVD, Stargate SG-1 S6 (Cure)

A leisurely stroll around another of those alien planets that is less advanced than us, but knows about the Stargate and is eager to get out and explore, kind of like the old 'Star Trek' Prime Directive situation of undiscovered, or newly learned, warp drive. It has the feel of a 'Star Trek: The Next Generation' episode in its slow-paced meandering and talky approach to the usual political and sociological problems SG-1 have stumbled on this time, so it's fitting that Gwynyth Walsh, most famous as one of the Klingon Duras sisters, joins the growing ranks of unemployed Trek actors making the leap to 'Stargate,' though if she was hoping for a recurring role as she had on 'TNG' she should have read the end of the script! Malek, the Tok'ra leader from the previous episode, makes a return, but it turns out it wasn't the wisest course of action by SG-1 to bring in the Tok'ra this time…

It's funny how the team blunder into these situations and you'd think that they'd have very strict rules about meeting inferior races thanks to the number of times they've been burned - lies, deception, ulterior motives, they're all usually harboured by these pesky sort-of-humans. This bunch, the Pangarans, aren't particularly bad, except they opened a Pandora's Box of trouble when discovering the Holy Grail of medicine: the cure-all potion. Course, it's too good to be true, as it always has been when the team discovers something life-changing that would alter life on Earth so significantly. To be fair, they do check it out, getting Fraiser to investigate the substance back at the SGC, and it turns out that you become dependent upon the elixir for survival and, oh… you need a Goa'uld Queen to produce it. Not something you find on eBay very often.

The catch with the Pangarans is that they demand Goa'uld 'gate addresses, which O'Neill isn't going to provide, but it takes a while before we understand why: the whole Queen thing, and the fact that she's dying. I said this was leisurely and it is for the most part, except when Teal'c and Jonas explore the Tretonin production facility without permission, discovering the heaving mass of symbiotes used in the wonder drug's manufacture. Rather than calmly going with the security when they're spotted, Teal'c goes into warrior mode leading to Jonas being rugby tackled by a very careless guard, pushing them both into the tank of symbiotes. While it's a good stunt, it doesn't make sense in various ways: one, the guard would be more careful since he knew what was in there; two, they could have simply drawn their guns instead of overreacting to the unexplained appearance of off-worlders in an off-limits area; and three, it appears that in the thirty years of production of Tretonin, no one has ever fallen in! We can gather this because they don't know what's happened to the guard that had a symbiote enter his body in the fall.

Which is why the Tok'ra get called in, and is the cause of more problems. So the Queen bee is dying, no more Tretonin means about twenty percent of the population (the privileged few - starting to sound like the Trill), will die from no more drug, and not only that, but this particular queen was Ra's enemy, Egeria, whom he's supposedly killed (it's all in Dr. Jackson's notes, in case we forget him!), thus being the origin of the Tok'ra themselves, who want their dying queen released, and can't find a cure to the drug anyway, and it's all a mess for O'Neill. Not that you get the impression that SG-1 really does anything in this episode, except introduce potentially explosive races together, decipher some hieroglyphics, and make friends with one of the two-dimensional alien characters. At one point it looked like they might be doing something with the female archeologist (Zenna Valk), Jonas was so interested in… I mean interested in helping, when she at first wants to tell him the secret of Tretonin, then later pretends she never even suggested something was wrong. But nothing happens with that, the Pangarans aren't really that bad after all. You have the usual uptight security head who's always stern and negative, and the worried, but determined leader who tries to be diplomatic, but fails to tell any of the big secrets until he thought they were 'ready.'

So the characters were ones seen many times before on the series, and it's only thanks to the Tok'ra's appearance that we get some real people - Kelmaa (Walsh), sacrifices herself to be the host of the Queen (not sure how that worked because we saw the huge bloated body still in the tank, but it must have implanted itself into the host body), thus being able to vocalise the antidote, praise Malek and the Tok'ra for being what she always wanted them to be, and then dying. Apart from that, this means it's a happy ending for everyone, but in the end I'm not sure what SG-1 got out of it, except maybe the Tok'ra will feel even more in their debt for the brief chance to meet the origins of themselves. The moral question of Goa'uld symbiotes being used in this manner was barely skimmed over, with only Malek mentioning that he doesn't find it morally objectionable because the Goa'uld have done much worse - not much of an argument, that! O'Neill raises an eyebrow, but that's as far as it goes on the issue side of things, with much more emphasis on the history of the Tok'ra with plenty of System Lord names thrown up to excite people. Unfortunately, though the episode was nice, and full of green hills, and never strained or stressed the brain, it brings me back to the feeling of one of those old 'TNG' episodes, the weaker ones where little seemed to happen.

**

X-Men Legends II: Rise of Apocalypse

GameCube, X-Men Legends II: Rise of Apocalypse (2005), game

I previously documented my experiences with this game in last year's Retrogaming Review of The Year. I'd played through almost to the end when the game, which had occasionally been glitchy, crashing now and again, happened to crash at a moment not long after I'd saved and when I went back to reload it, the file wouldn't work - all my hard work had been destroyed! I decided to play through again for the sake of completion and to see the end, but this time I wouldn't be collecting things out of my way or smashing all that was destructible. No,  I planned it to be a quick return to where I had previously arrived. It was the right decision, except towards the end I realised I needed to bulk up my team a bit more or I might be too weak to finish. So I did take it a bit more seriously and succeeded in completing the game on Normal difficulty, and I must say it wasn't worth the destination, the ending being typical of last levels in games in that it was a bit too easy and unimaginative, but the journey wasn't painful and could be fun. Mind you, the whole game was an exercise in roving the landscape solving simple switch puzzles and the like, while tearing into any enemies that attacked, so it was never going to be an amazing joy. I never felt overwhelmed by enemies, and it was a pretty comfortable experience at that difficulty level, so perhaps I should have tried the harder option.

In my second run through the game I didn't have the heart to go through the Danger Room stuff either as I'd spent a good portion of time and effort on my first game, so this was pretty much a straight run to the finish as quick as possible, though I was still playing in chunks here and there over weeks or months, so I wasn't enveloped by the story and keen to get back into it, but at the same time I quite enjoyed it, it was probably as good as the first one in general, colourful, but not as satisfying in that there wasn't as much to develop in the way it could be exciting that you started with one character and slowly added the other three. It wasn't worth improving many characters as it was best to choose your four and stick with them to get the most out of them, but I've always enjoyed hearing the history and backstory and connections between characters as I had little knowledge of the X-Men world. Unfortunately, I always come back to the fact that I had to play through almost entirely, twice.

I think back to the Hall of Knowledge level or the Nuwali jungle environment and have good memories of playing such areas (deep underneath the Gothic cathedral structure was a good sequence), even the second time, but overall I can't give it more than the previous rating I gave it in my Retrogaming Review. The environments were reasonably varied, but I still think back to the first game and can think of more highlights. This should really be looked on as an extension of the first title rather than a completely individual experience, though you don't need to know the story of 'X-Men Legends' to enjoy it. With that in mind there should have been an option to transfer the characters you'd built between the games - obviously the difficulty curve would have to be automatically adjusted to stronger characters, but it would have been a sensible addition.

In keeping with the last level being typically disappointing, the main man, Apocalypse took only one attempt to defeat, then it was over, and after putting almost fifteen hours into playing it this time (not to mention the twenty-four and a half hours of original play), I felt it should have had a more challenging ending that had had as much thought put into it as the opening. So it wasn't a bad game, but not quite the experience of a good game, mainly thanks to the glitch, nor did I really like the cel-shaded style of the characters, though I got used to it. It's repetitive, yet somehow enjoyable anyway if played sporadically, but I wouldn't want to play through again, and it deserves a star less than I would have awarded the first game. Never having played the co-op variation I can't comment on that except to say I can imagine it might be difficult to see your own character with four dashing around as it could be awkward sometimes in one-player when one of the special moves was unleashed in a flurry of light and speed.

**

Murder At Sea, part II

DVD, Starsky & Hutch S2 (Murder At Sea, part II)

Compared to part I this goes like the clappers, and if that was the comedy half, this is by far the serious side to the story in the same mould as the previous two-parter, 'The Las Vegas Strangler.' S&H look the part of seagoing folk, dashing around in shirts and bellbottoms, hair flying everywhere, with little of the cartoonish behaviour or ridiculous shenanigans they displayed as Hack and Zack - their alter egos are now 'undercover' as they put it to Nellie Brown… er, Helen Carnahan… er, well, whatever her name was, she turns out to be a useful ally, and different to what I expected. Not having seen these episodes for a few years I'd forgotten much of the detail, only knowing it was about S&H tearing round the ship in a desperate hunt for bombs, then tying them together in a sheet, eventually ending up on a speedy desert buggy chase. Helen's real identity and motive for being on the voyage come to light, though again, she doesn't play all her cards until forced to - she has to tell S&H she's a reporter for The Phoenix Sun, but it's not until Joey Fortune, the Mr. Big behind it all who wants back in at the top of the syndicate, recognises her as the girl of a man he killed (Teddy Carnowski), that we get to the bottom of her. She was more dangerous than we ever thought.

While we're getting to the bottom of things, we also find out that it was Second Officer Art Jensen that was responsible for offing Eric Snow, the figure this all resulted from - he was paid off by Helen's paper for info on the syndicate meeting, though her real interest in it was to kill Joey. We're never told this, but we see the monkey mask worn by the killer kept in a locked box of Jensen's, an unusually subtle, non-verbal choice of revelation, and one of the little things that sets this apart from the standard episode. It's not just little things, but the whole tone which is different, more urgent and threatening than part I. There is humour, but it's used to emphasise the tension and how seriously in deep S&H are: at the most terrifying, deadly moments S&H show their affection, the funniest probably being just before the second bomb goes off and the pair have to crouch in a corner with Helen to escape the blast and Starsky says: "At moments like these it's comforting to know you got a partner who bathes." But the most touching was simply his parting goodbye as they dash off in different directions to find the third, fourth and fifth bombs, telling Hutch he'll see him around, both taking time to share a brief moment of realisation that this could be the end, and not only of each other, but three hundred passengers are depending on their detective skills!

That's what transforms this into an episode that beats with a steady tension, a succession of desperate situations. At first it's just their own lives at risk, they're uncertain of who to trust so they can't go round undercover any more, they're hunted men. It's not long before they get caught by their enemies, but only because Hutch prevents Helen from carrying out her revenge. Never a word of thanks escapes Joey's mouth for being saved, instead he shows admiration for the sparky young woman who had the guts to attempt it. Not that he was going to reward her, but if it means anything, it's high praise from him that he sees where she's coming from. Joey Fortune, the only new character of the episode (the end credits have been incorrectly repeated from part I, featuring some roles that aren't in this one, and not Joey, which is a bit irritating), is a good villain, setting up the double-cross I hadn't been expecting. I'm not sure I fully buy into this old guy taking back the reins of the organisation, but you can look to the ambition of his younger supporters, Jensen and Nicky Cairo, sick of living in his brother's shadow, to see his backing was solid. Didn't see it coming, and neither did Patsy and co. Joey was very spry for his age, clambering up the rope ladder onto the Amapola, striding briskly around deck, but keeping his face hidden under a panama hat, almost as if he was being played by a double for those acrobatic bits…

S&H trapped in a room with a ticking time bomb and a bunch of goons (all individually attired in different coloured suits to give them a bit more character), continues the good situational inventiveness and the stakes push S&H to new heights of creative courses of action. I love seeing the bad guys working together with them in the quest for survival, doing what they're told and piling up sandbags and furniture against the bomb, which really did go off with a proper blast! I'm not sure it was the best use of time to chuck those fold-up chairs in the baddies' direction when it would surely be quicker to leap through the door to freedom, not wasting valuable time throwing matchwood, but the impression of life ticking away by the second and the great solution made that scene really strong. Then it turns into a race against time for S&H to locate the remaining three bombs - I was expecting Jensen to be waiting in the shadows down below, but that wouldn't have made sense as the motor launch had already left with Joey and his goons aboard. It was the last we see of Patsy Cairo and gang, it might have been a good idea to show them banged up or handed over to police for some closure.

The series isn't always strongest at closing out a story, and that continued with this - few of the weird characters reappeared in part II, and then they were mere cameos, mainly in the final scene, if they did (Mr. Takahashi doesn't even get to be more than an extra, briefly glimpsed in the crowd chasing S&H in their new 'game'). The whole bomb-transporting sequence was masterful, with S&H on top form, using their skills to the limits (look out for a continuity mistake when Hutch goes up the stairs first, followed by Starsky, then the shot cuts to Starsky leading!). Their teamwork is essential to the saving of everyone's lives, and yet it's a chilling moment when the people gaily chase after the pair as they charge aft to release their deadly cargo into the sea, the holidaymakers not knowing how close to death they are, squealing in delight at the spectacle. It's very much a superhero type of situation where the oblivious masses happily go on with their lives, blissfully unaware of the heroic deeds transpiring around them to keep them safe. The ship became like a giant steady hand game with S&H having to trust each other implicitly as they always have, in order to win the day, the moment ably enhanced by the bomb music, uncertain, uneven, as if hanging in the balance that at any moment could tip. I'm not sure it could even be classed as music, it was more of a discordant jangle, usually the style they use in their horror episodes, but effective in being an audio metaphor for what was happening.

When one disaster's averted there still remains unfinished business: Joey Fortune and his accomplices must be brought to justice. This is apparently happening in Mexico, so you'd think they would prefer to take up the matter themselves rather than let a couple of American detectives chase down the baddies, even going so far as to provide helicopter transport (but only part of the way?), and a desert buggy for them to show off in, I mean 'carry out their mission,' though Hutch looks to be having a good time driving it (much like Picard in 'Star Trek Nemesis' which is, bizarrely, the mental connection I made when I watched the chase!). I wonder if they had him drive so that Starsky's stunt double (pulling double double duty as Nicky Cairo, Joey's right-hand man), wouldn't have to drive both vehicles, since he was already in the steering seat of the Jeep. This is really the only true action sequence of the episode, but what a sequence! It's likely the best car chase they ever did, like a James Bond sequence, over the top, funny, but most importantly thrilling, as S&H soar over the brows of hills, burn through clouds of dust, and drive over small trees! It's exuberant, but so exciting, and I'm not surprised they went on to use clips from this in the opening credits, later: they don't call him Crazy Joey for nothing, and this was Crazy Joey's Crazy Jumps Extravaganza!

No sign of the Torino, not a peep out of Captain Dobey, nor a visit to police HQ, it's a wonder Huggy got to be in it at all. This leads me to one of the most bizarre tag scenes I can think of, in which Huggy (now monikered Huggerini The Incredible, as opposed to last episode's Huggerino The Supremo), apparently severely injures, if not worse, poor Bertha Zelinka, while S&H try to sneak out the back! For one, it's not their fault what Hug does, and for another, why is he trying such a dangerous trick and why does it end without us knowing the fate of Bertha? It also snaps into this scene too quickly - yes, the main villains have been caught; yes, presumably the other ones were kept secure by Stafford, but it wouldn't have hurt to see them handed over to the authorities. Also, I was thinking they were still on the Mexico side of the journey so it was odd that Huggy had somehow flown out there to perform, until I realised this must be the end-of-cruise party back at home port. Due to the pace and content of the narrative there's no time for the usual tropes of the series, such as in-jokes (the closest being someone toppling into the onboard swimming pool as Starsky rushes past, or the fact that he actually gets to belt fake Starsky, or the actor that usually plays him in stunts!), pop culture, or much in the way of odd people, but it strongly reaffirms S&H's implicit trust and friendship with each other and shows that they'll risk their lives for the good of others.

In that way it is very much a typical episode, but the setting, the high-octane action and the stripped-down nature of the story, means this stands out proud from the crowd (as Hug might say), the scale of it draws you in, because in part I, it was a mere convenience to be on a ship, but this time we see the motor launch pulling away after dropping off Joey, we see them traversing the bowels of the ship, and the scope feels big, helped by the desert chase to cap off a good episode. I thought it was going to be shorter to make up for the fact that part I ran long, but it was about standard length, it just felt faster because of the pacy story. Again, there are some issues with the picture quality, with a few scenes looking slightly fuzzy or blurry (both inside and outside shots), which can perhaps be put down to the technical side of filming on a ship in the 70s, but it's only brief and doesn't detract. S&H look naturals at sea, Hutch showing off his knotting skills and Starsky mounting the ladder with the rope in his mouth like a pirate biting his knife as he climbs the rigging. It was a setting that worked and justified the two-part story and the effort and  large scale production that went into it.

***

Allegiance

DVD, Stargate SG-1 S6 (Allegiance)

An episode in which the Tok'ra, the Jaffa and the Tare do a lot of waiting around on a planet, getting irritated with each other in the most obvious way, which then turns into a murder mystery, which turns into a hunt for an assassin, and finally… more waiting, this time for the assassin to come to them. I wouldn't call it a badly executed story, but neither does it inspire as a great thematic episode, bringing together the three great opponents of the Goa'uld to learn the struggles of alliance and hold back pride in their individual value in the fight against the enemy. It's just too obvious and drawn out, and though it did fool me in that I was expecting one of their number to be a Goa'uld as the attacker (Pearce or Obi Ndefo's Rak'nor were my prime suspects), it wasn't very intelligently written and a lot of history and background was parleyed about, meaning you had to try and remember everything that's gone before.

In some cases I appreciated the referring to other things, such as O'Neill and Jacob sitting down and the subject of Jack's experience with a symbiote coming up as you'd hope it would. But too often it was about old rivalries, spoken in that effected, formal old-English speak that both the Tok'ra and Jaffa always talk in. Even the apparent death of Bra'tac was poorly handled as I didn't think for a second that he had indeed been killed - they wouldn't kill off perhaps their most revered recurring character in such an anticlimactic way, and if they had done so there would have been a whole lot more of an emotional reaction to it. No one even demanded to be taken to the last place Bra'tac had been seen! Teal'c would have gone off on his own if need be, to confirm his mentor's death for his own eyes, would have tracked signs of him through the forest and would have brought the body back. It didn't make a jot of sense for the Ashrak assassin to leave Bra'tac alive when it could so easily have killed him, especially when he had gone to the trouble of actually dragging the old man off into the bushes (an effective visual, nonetheless), except for the reason that he could return at the end!

When this large form was shimmering in and out of invisibility I half expected it to be the large warrior creatures that would eventually be introduced as almost unstoppable enemies, but evidently that's still to come. It was tiresome watching Tok'ra bicker with Jaffa, and O'Neill's diplomatic skills, while tested, weren't pushed to the edge of his ability, meaning I never felt any real tension. This could have been a really down and dirty episode, perhaps taking place in constant storms, with people dashing through the dark, muddy forest, slithering around in a desperate hunt for the killer of their comrades, but instead it looks like a nice jaunt in the woods on a fine day which creates almost zero atmosphere. So early, the rivalries were clearly delineated, and with so much ill feeling you should feel a rush of satisfaction by the time Bra'tac makes his speech about how that one dagger held by an enemy had brought them all together as brothers. It was a good speech, but even then, it was a bit of an anticlimax because the factions hadn't really earned it.

You have to laugh when there's a guy standing with a massive bazooka-like Jaffa staff platform weapon, manning it as if it's likely to be any use against an invisible man. But despite the lack of inventive thinking or taking themes further, there were some good points. For instance, the funeral pyre set before the Stargate was a good idea - fast, easy cremation in one simple burst, and it looked good, too. O'Neill, for all his idiotic-sounding comments (some of which were occasionally funny), got a heroic moment when he bawls out everyone to duck, then hammers the surrounding area with some kind of assault rifle, part of the sequence shown in slow-mo. It still proved ineffective, and I can only assume the Ashrak, like Neo in 'The Matrix,' was able to dodge bullets. That, or he heeded O'Neill's advice, and hit the dirt! After all that, it was Bra'tac who reappeared to send a blast and save the day. Where was Jonas? Why, back at the base, as if he'd been grounded. My theory on that is they had so many characters and so much backstory to chat about, that having a new guy come along and have to be given stuff to do, lines to say and a point for being there, was too much for them. Ironically I'd have liked them to explain the politics again, Jonas' role sometimes there for the audience's benefit, but instead he got a week off, Fraiser taking his position in the team.

There's really not a lot more to say about this, it's not a good character piece, which you might expect if you were going to get all these people together. There are things like it being so handy that they happened to have a Zatarc detector just when needed for the story, but at the bottom of it, it's a bit of a filler, when such a momentous occasion of bringing the three allies to one new, and secret camp deserved a momentous story. I can see it was a necessary story to show the hostility and distrust between these peoples before they become stronger allies, but I can also wish it had been a better written and produced episode as we've seen happen before with a number of 'Jaffa mythology' episodes. Maybe it's the Tok'ra's fault? Often their porridge-clothed presence doesn't make for a great episode, so maybe they took away the Jaffa's quality? It's one of those stories that's the reason I don't think as fondly of the series as I might, thanks to not getting a good balance of action, or humour, or character building right. It just happens, which means we could have just been told about the story without needing to see it, and that seems a little like a waste of a good premise.

**

Murder At Sea

DVD, Starsky & Hutch S2 (Murder At Sea)

I felt I'd misjudged this episode a little, to begin with. Previously I'd felt it was almost a good episode, but not quite, but this time I felt I'd been too harsh, and that it was a good one after all. It started quite dramatically with the sinister man in the monkey mask (was it a monkey, or was it supposed to be an ugly person?), strangely unsettling with the contrast between its cartoony appearance, yet uncertain meaning, and the deadly intention and measured, cold movements that spoke of a devious intelligence. I'd forgotten the opening completely, and indeed, remembered little beyond the cruise side of things - for example, I often quote a saying, 'The good old days; the grand times!' in an old man's voice, which I didn't realise came from here. That's the other thing about the episode that brought me on board (!), the steady succession of wacky characters that the series does. This time we have a string of them almost from the get-go: Lord Harry Percival (or Mr. Teeth as I dubbed him), of Lord Harry's World Famous Tattoo Parlour Deluxe ("Perhaps you've heard of me?"), the next in a line of bizarre witnesses that over the episodes S&H have had to negotiate in order to get the clues they need. Then there's Oxey, the security guy who jumps them on the ship (he deserved a larger role since he was so larger than life, and I thought he was in it more!), and the aged Commodore Atwater, from whom I got the saying ("Those were the good old days. Those were the grand times."), a crotchety old man who's in charge of the Atwater Steamship Company.

We also come to a lady named October Moss, who's just like someone you'd expect to bear that name, though this is where we come back to planet Earth with the frosty reception S&H meet from her friend Helen Carnahan, played by Lynne Marta, who I believe was married (or would be), to David Soul (and had played another role in last season's 'The Bait'). She has her own secrets, since we saw her at the start, screeching away from the murderer of Eric Snow (with a name like that he had to be bad!), so intrigue is already set up early in the story. I like that it doesn't give away that this is a two-part episode, but suspicions should have been flagged up when we actually get the title on screen, as well as a long credit list (though it appears the opening theme montage is here to stay as, unlike Season 1, it hasn't changed from week to week). It had only been done a couple of times before (usually the actor's names stay in the end credits), namely the pilot and 'The Las Vegas Strangler,' which either featured a longer running time or was a two-parter, and you can see this is set up to be a BIG episode. It's strange to put another two-parter only a couple of episodes after the first one as you'd think they'd space them out, but maybe they also had sweeps period in those days when they wanted the best ratings, or maybe they were so pleased with the first one they threw money into another big idea. Plus, they probably needed to spread the budget over two episodes to justify the cost of hiring an actual steamer and filming on location on the ocean as appears they did!

It takes a while, but eventually we get to what I remembered about the episode: S&H going undercover on the steamship Amapola for a mission to bust a drugs syndicate at the destination of Acapulco, Mexico. If you thought we'd had done with crazy characters, perhaps got them out of the way before we got to the real story, you'd have been bemused to realise that comparatively, Lord Harry, the Commodore and Oxey were pretty sane and ordinary compared with the cast of misfits that assembles for the cruise, and that the story takes a turn for the wacky in a big way, like the steamer itself on a massive turning circle, honking all the way. Not to say the episode had lost me at this point, it was still engaging and fun - fun is the best word to sum up the majority of the episode in stark contrast to the opening and the stakes, this is by far the biggest excuse the series had taken so far to take off from the constraints of the daily grind of police detective life, and for the stars to make fools of themselves - none of that cool cops or grave jeopardy, the hallmarks of Season 1, this is the next step towards the ultimate destination of 'Dandruff' in Season 4. You could point to 'The Las Vegas Strangler' as the culprit for starting this direction away from hard-hitting, sometimes downbeat, drama, and into what could best be described as farce. Its decision to go boldly into location shooting, away from the city and into the casinos, with S&H acting up to stereotypes to disguise their real mission was clearly what influenced the style of this episode. Maybe 'Strangler' was a big hit, and they had demands for more of the same?

None of the above made me question my questioning of my previous feelings toward the episode. No, it was the extended length and the way the story was meandering along, treading water, losing momentum in the last third and outstaying its welcome: at 55 minutes long, it needed to stay sharp, but it had the appearance of filling time until they could get to a point where a possible cliffhanger ending could cut the episode off. This had the unfortunate effect of ruining the pacing because eventually we get to something of moment and it ends abruptly as if they couldn't work out where to cut, but didn't want to ditch all the padding they'd written to make hiring a ship worthwhile, and so it dragged. This also had a knock-on effect of making part two shorter than the average episode, as I recall, but right now I'm just judging this episode on its own merits, and because of the unevenness (and perhaps a little due to the seediness of some of the characters aboard ship), I couldn't quite bring myself to rate it a good episode, though there's still much to enjoy, not the least that it's another that's well out of the usual style of the series.

It did retain some of the little bits and pieces you'd expect, such as the usual joke about S&H's names: this time they're asked which is Hack and which is Zack (being undercover as entertainers Hack and Zack, which begs the question of what happened to the real entertainment, presuming there would have been some - did they do someone out of an honest job?), and both point to the other and say 'he's Hack,' as well as earlier there being some confusion over who's who. It was good to hear their entire false names later in the episode when Starsky makes it up as he goes, saying Hutch is 'Zack Shecky,' inspiring him to the revenge of calling Starsky, 'Hack Tuppleman' ('Shecky & Tupp' - has a ring to it…). There are a few cultural references, ranging from 'Green Sleeves' to Huggy calling himself 'the Houdini with soul,' 'My Wild Irish Rose' sung by Mr. Takahashi, Starsky whistling the theme tune of 'Popeye The Sailorman,' and Bizet's 'Habanera,' as demolished by Edna Zelinka ("I'm never wrong about things like that!"). But for all the water, neither Starsky nor Hutch end up in it. I guess they only jump into freshwater? I believe we've seen Hutch interrupt Starsky as he's chatting up a girl before, which happens again, and but for the shot of the Torino sitting outside police HQ, it's a no-show for the show tomato - starting to sound like Huggy, now.

Or should that be Huggerino The Supremo? Oh dear, how far Huggy has fallen since his glory days of Season 1 when he owned his own establishment. This time he's literally writhing around on the floor in a most undignified manner thanks to a straitjacket, and I found myself wondering why he was even in the episode at all, except that he's supposed to be one of the title characters! He had the intel that Snow was a drug dealer planning a big deal for his next trip, which leads them to wonder why he was murdered before he left, but Hug himself is just shown to be looking after his cousin, Marco The Magnificent's, business while he's in court. It's always good to hear more about Hug's extended (and usually shady), family, but sad to see such a great character languishing in the shadow of the two leads, just there to be made a fool of, it felt like. He never tended to get a large role, but it would have been good to build him up a little more from the first season instead of taking a backward step. This oversight would be softened slightly later in the season when he was the main focus of an episode, but even so… Captain Dobey was never quite as enjoyable a character, but he makes it firmly into the story, and even gets to have a laugh in the Commodore's office, a very rare moment for him!

One thing I'd never realised before and was great fun to see this time, was that Nicky Cairo was played by Charles Picerni, the man who also often doubled Starsky, and was starring alongside a 'Paul Picerni,' playing his elder brother, Patsy Cairo. Coincidence, or were they brothers in real life? It seems likely as they do look similar. It's good to see Charles Picerni finally get a sizeable role after being onscreen so often as a stuntman - he'd play several other speaking characters over the years, I think, but this would seem to be his first credited character on the series. He'd actually debuted earlier in the episode in the fantastic fight sequence with Oxey, where the burly guard takes on both S&H, almost chucking them both overboard - I'm starting to spot both the doubles now that I'm looking more carefully, but it was shot from a distance and on the smaller and less distinct screens of the time it wouldn't have been obvious at all, I'm sure. Fun that real Starsky gets to meet fake Starsky, though! With the unravelling information that what S&H have stumbled onto could be bigger than they ever realised; a meeting of every syndicate leader on the West Coast (Jack Patches, Gus Traynor, Long Oscar Nash, Marty Simon, and of course, Patsy Cairo), the stakes are raised ready for part two, and with Helen Carnahan aboard under her own pseudonym of Nellie Brown, things begin to hot up.

What doesn't help is the comedy taking over. It's amusing in doses, but becomes far too invasive to the plot. The characters are fun for the most part, joining the crazy list are: Captain LaRue, one of the best characters, he's a bitter, disillusioned man, who is also philosophical, likening the microcosm of life aboard the ship to the world. But then you get Harv (played by Ed Begley, Jr., long before he became the inventor of the modern computer according to 'Star Trek: Voyager'!), and his Bayside Singles Club girls, which is where things go downhill a bit, their only purpose to 'liven up' the episode with innuendo, it seems. Then you get Mr. Takahashi and his wife, his name being mispronounced throughout, and Starsky being borderline racist by pretending to say something in Japanese that is actually gobbledygook, something you might not get away with on TV today. Not that Starsky was a racist, far from it, but it could easily be misconstrued in the far more PC modern era. There are some good additions to the category, with Hubert Stuffy, who's taking his Mother's ashes on the journey, which could have been played as bittersweet, but came across as just bonkers; Edna Zelinka and her eligible daughter, Bertha (Carole Ita White had been another character in the pilot episode!), who were great fun; and First Officer Stafford, a stiff upper-lipped Englishman in the finest American stereotyped mould! Also, look out for the dodgy, bug-eyed waiter who sneaks off with Kitty - he's been an extra in various episodes (I always remember his dozy stare at the blood donor's in 'Texas Longhorn').

Other things that aren't entirely working for me are, for one, that Starsky gets knocked on the head by one of Cairo's dudes, who leaves him in the corridor to be found by Stafford! All that did (aside from giving Starsky a sore head), was to alert S&H to the fact that Cairo and co. were onto S&H being onto them! It would have been far wiser for Starsky to be thrown overboard, but then that wouldn't have worked in TV land. That's the same reason Mr. and Mrs. Waldo-Pitkin didn't say a word when Starsky puts the mike in their faces after announcing their wedding anniversary - they'd have had to be paid more! Maybe Paul Michael Glaser had got so into his act that he'd forgotten he was playing a scene, and began to believe he really was playing the room? There's also a continuity error when Hutch drops his piece of paper with the itinerary on it when shunting off Stuffy - he drops it, then it cuts to a further away view and he drops it again! I also wondered if Starsky banged Helen's door unintentionally when he opens it forcefully on the way out of her apartment, back on dry land? Either way, he kept the scene going, so it would interesting to know if that was ad-libbing. The only technical problem was that a few outdoor scenes on the ship were blurry as if they'd had to keep them in because they couldn't film it again. It may have been so, or it may be that the quality degraded since the 70s and they only had that original.

Seeing the docks again, and assuming they're part of Bay City since it becomes about S&H's jurisdiction ending (an interesting theme there about the laws of the sea as opposed to the laws of the land), it doesn't look like the dockyards we've seen before. The city must be a very big place to have such facilities, and it would be nice to know the exact layout of this fictional place and if they'd ever made a rough map to help with the storytelling. We do get to hear where Hutch was born (Duluth, Minnesota), and that his love of the sea stems from being a Sea Scout as a boy. His appreciation for all things nautical as opposed to Starsky's ignorance could have been the running joke of this episode, but it doesn't go anywhere, another example of the writing being a bit messy and loose. I liked seeing them do police things, like Hutch picking the lock or Starsky spying, stuff that's more in keeping with being undercover in a fixed area. I'd love to hear the backstory of how this episode came to be, whether it was the writers wanting something different or the actors asking for more exotic locales - it's a bit of a stretch to believe that S&H could go off on such a cruise, but the ship always feels real, sold especially well when they stagger down a rolling corridor at one time, making me wonder if any of the shipboard scenes were filmed on a soundstage. There's plenty of fun to be had, mixed in with intrigue, but the frivolous nature of the approach tends to overwhelm the exciting aspects of the story and the focus is lost through editing. Maybe it would have worked better as a tighter, feature-length episode?

**

Bust Amboy

DVD, Starsky & Hutch S2 (Bust Amboy)

If there was one episode to encapsulate 'Starsky & Hutch,' then there can't be many more encapsulating than this one. It may not boast the usual cultural references or as many running gags as the average, but as an introduction to the style of the series, its characters and their role in the city, this very much presents a well-rounded example. If you were going to introduce someone to the series this would be one of the most appropriate to show them - it has a good dosage of action, some sadness without being depressing, and shows S&H at their bantering, caring and clever best (they even do some actual detective work, deducing Amboy's plans from his interest in The London Daily Dispatch newspaper, that Sherlock Holmes would be proud of), though they didn't really need to be that clever to defeat Amboy and his goons! I would say that he was a villain more suited to their attention than some smalltimers have been. He may not be a Stryker, but he's of that ilk, running a moderately large drugs and prostitution business, getting fat off the destructive habits and appetites of others.

And he is a despicable villain because of his motivation for power and riches, his catchphrase, the golden rule: the man with the gold makes the rules. But he found that to be not so because not everyone is motivated by greed, and with S&H he found his match in two good cops that just want to help people and do their job to keep the city safe. Amboy's a merciless businessman who likes to talk as if he's high class, yet you get the impression, from the accent and the way he likes to show off in front of his rich guests or is so easily embarrassed, that he comes from the gutter, even treating his own men poorly, the mark of a low person. He has no respect for anyone 'below' him, treading on them to fund his opulent lifestyle. He even has his own logic - S&H don't know the victims of his drugs personally, is his argument, and that's because they don't want to know them. He calls them 'nothings,' 'zeros,' 'nobodies' which makes them fair game. He practically claims he's doing them a favour, that their only kicks are what he sells them and they'd get them from someone else if not him. He's just a good businessman. And an evil man.

Whenever he's embarrassed as S&H carry out their illegal persecution of him, or humiliated as he is at the end, when, like the stereotypical wicked rich man, he grabs the money and runs for it (like the Master of Lake Town in 'The Hobbit'), grovelling on his belly, crying "I had it all… I had it all!" it's a pleasing result (possibly my favourite shot is the Panda pulling in behind him as he's on his knees looking forlorn). He's really like a spoilt child who can do what he wants thanks to his power, yet he doesn't feel very powerful, or that's how I thought of him. He's always trying to show himself as cultured and impress those around him, whether it's the corn on the cob facts, the caviar and champagne for S&H, or his attitude in the luxurious restaurant, he's always striving not to seem the rough, backward felon he is, made posh by his money, not his breeding. The city's apparently running dry at the moment and Amboy's cornered the market, but as in most of the decisions we see him take, rather than get more customers hooked or lower his prices, he raises the price. He treats his men badly, spitting corn over Denny, speaking harshly to him to impress S&H when they're brought before him, and slapping his henchman round the face. He takes it like a whipped cur, but his neutral expression doesn't give away whether he resents it or not, you almost feel sorry for him.

Amboy (first name, Bust?), is slow to understand people, maybe that's why he gives the impression of being on the back foot and needing to seem the big man to his men or those he wants to respect him, those he considers his peers. He obviously hasn't heard of S&H, foolishly kidnapping them to offer the proposal of a bribe. They pull their clever cop, dumb cop routine (instead of the good cop, bad cop, or the hard cop, hard cop of last season), with Hutch pointing out the finer things Amboy's taste provides to the 'lowbrow' Starsky (who wonders if peanut butter would go well with the caviar!), reeling Amboy in so that he thinks they're considering his offer. It's unfortunate that their range of gadgetry didn't extend to a tiny microphone so they could record his confession then and there, but it's fun to see the retro gadgets they use this time, from the massive radio receiver hidden in the bunch of flowers as part of their 'cover' for getting into the undertaker's, to the bulky, beeping tracker used to follow Goose when he tries to flee to Amboy.

Though nine-year old drug addicts and teenage prostitutes are discussed, eventually leading to Hutch's anger no longer being held back, the story stays mainly on the lighter side, laughing at the idiotic henchmen Amboy employs, or Amboy himself (such as when they show up to irritate him at the restaurant or the tailor's), rather than getting into the nitty gritty of the results of Amboy's 'business.' This pushes it firmly into the positive category - if they'd shown more of the hideous things they mention, or met someone less foolish and girly as Mickey it might have had more impact in that department, but this is Season 2 'Starsky & Hutch' which tended to be more upbeat, and it's not like they're brushing the issue under the carpet, it is the very thing that motivates S&H to hound Amboy so thoroughly. His pretensions to grandeur and taste are laughable, but the story is definitely coming from the top-down approach than the bottom-up, and Mickey provides a suitable example of the young lives drugs have ruined. She's fine until Amboy becomes bored with her. The way S&H react to her shows their caring nature for the washed up lost souls that frequent their city, as we've seen on numerous occasions before, when they've gone beyond their duty to help. You can see it in the way Hutch's outstretched arm follows her as she leaves Dobey's office early on, wanting to help, but with nothing he can do to get her to see where she's going.

With all the coffins in this one you'd think it was a sign of things to come, but nobody dies (though one goon at least is shot by Starsky, not something we see often - usually the drawn weapon or warning shots are enough), S&H able to save Mickey in time. It gets us to the necessary happy ending that was the series' trademark - if it had been too late for her it might have made the story deeper, but we don't watch the series for deep meanings or rough realism, it's a pleasure to see a couple of heroes do their job well and win out over the rules and regulations that tie their hands. The strange abiding by or disregarding of law is a funny one, and very 70s - we have Amboy saved on a technicality because S&H chased Goose over the county line, invalidating their warrant, yet later they almost persecute Amboy so much so, that you can imagine the lawyers making sure they never worked as policemen again, in today's world. Dobey gets in on the act as well, giving them false sick leave for 'pig flu' and telling them to do what they will with their own time! It's good to see him backing up his men, especially after he's had to come down hard because of the jurisdiction issue, but even so, it looks strange from today's strict viewpoint.

Right from the first bust you can see the tone of the episode is not a serious one as they have some fun with the flowers or in duping Goose into taking them to one of Amboy's drops, resulting in a fight where fruit and veg are used to take out the baddies. And there's plenty of fighting, both gun and fist varieties, though the actors look to be doing most of the work this time (except I noticed Hutch's double who rushes in with the real Starsky for the fight with Itchy). There's also time for unrelated plot asides such as the reoccurring theme of Starsky's strange food loves when he takes Hutch to a downmarket outside cafe with strips of flypaper hanging down ('it's okay, they're flying, not landing,' Starsky reassures!), and there are golden moments throughout. I thought this was the one where their brakes are cut as they go downhill, but maybe it was the same hill - there were plenty of other moments I remembered that tied to this one: the soup in the face of the big Asian chef, Itchy, was one, and the priceless swapping of seats in the middle of the night in the Torino, another!

Hutch takes over driving duties of the Torino for a change in the early wild Goose chase (because Starsky's busy setting Goose up), but it's not him at the wheel when the red and white-striped tomato lurches round corners bouncing around or screeching to a halt the rest of the time. It's certainly more lively than last episode, though the front numberplate flies off when the car leaps round into Amboy's drive and this low part hits the incline, which is quite funny. Another tiny mistake to look for is Hutch managing to spill Amboy's champagne as he pulls it across the table, but it spills into his glass! Even Amboy's doors are more lavish than usual, with the white one into his main room featuring a wavy top that fits flush with a wavy lintel above it: nice! It doesn't look so good with soup splashed over it, though. Maybe the soup was what made Hutch have to get a better grip on the handle when he's trying to yank it open after the fight, as it takes a couple of tries? There's the usual question as to how S&H can get away with staking a place out in the highly visible red Torino, both through the night and in broad daylight outside Amboy's (especially after they've been given a court order to keep away!), but it's one of those things you accept.

There aren't many of the usual points of interest to list, but aside from Starsky's odd food tastes contrasting with Hutch's more 'advanced' palate, and there being something wrong with Starsky's car (the horn's blaring, though this time it's a trap), we also have the names mix-up again with Amboy gesturing to the wrong ones as he calls them Starsky and Hutchinson, and they each say the other's name when correcting! There's also a throwback to the pilot when the pair are hiding in the bushes spying on the villain's place, talking on radios (Hutch should have got some anti-bee aftershave from Mickey…), and a couple of actors were playing the same roles as they'd played before (though different characters), Goose actor (Charles Bergansky) doing a similar dopey guy to Arnold in 'Death Notice,' and Denny actor (Nicholas Worth) a similar henchman in 'The Omaha Tiger,' so they must have realised it was good casting for those types and hired them again, as occasionally happened on the series. There were plenty of wacky characters, Goose being the wackiest, though Mickey could fall into that category, as could Amboy and Itchy (though he didn't speak, his huge Oddjob-style Bond villain was out of the ordinary).

English connection, Squire Fox, didn't make it into any category as he's not really a character and doesn't have anything to say (the guy who played him looked like a regular face, so he may have been a stunt guy which would explain why Fox isn't credited to anyone) - he must have been English because of the tweed hat and pipe, right? Probably the only time there was a reference to Southampton in the series, and a rare one for London, too. The moral of the story was strong: it's hard work that gives real success, not standing on other people: Amboy 'had it all,' but in the end he leaves with nothing, whereas even the small job of sales rep for a men's cosmetic company was a big step-up for Mickey. I only wonder why Dobey didn't make it into the tag scene at the end, Hutch weirdly talking to him on the phone, even though he's supposedly just next door in the office. Starsky claims 'protocol' (are they supposed to be still 'ill' and he can't see them, is that it?), but I have to assume they either chose not to have Bernie Hamilton for the scene or he was unavailable through illness or other work - Dobey would be shouting at them if he was within a few metres! I'd love to know whether he was paid per episode or per scene and if they were trying to save money, because it's an odd way to leave it. At least Huggy gets to be in this episode and we can even pretend he owns the bar in which the darts trick takes place. The episode is a continuation of the good work this season in all respects.

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